White dust (Mature)

Part 4 - Surprise, I still love you

I'm so tired. I don't know if I can keep my eyes open any longer. Does Chris have any idea that I'm not even paying attention to what she's saying? Gosh I wish this guy would just hurry up and paint my toes already! I feel so sick to my stomach. This was such a bad idea to go to the spa - not relaxing at all. Stevie thought to herself as Christine had asked her to have a spa day where they just relaxed and talked about personal things that the guys obviously wouldn't be interested in.

"Stevie, have you heard a word of what I just said?" Chris asked, perturbed.

"Hmm?" Stevie looked over at her, looking dazed.

"I'm seriously worried about you, Stevie. You've been acting rather strange ever since you got to my place. I would really like for you to tell me what's going on so I can understand why you're not yourself."

"There's only so much that I can tell you, Chris, that you would understand."

"Why don't you try me."

"This isn't the right time or place, maybe later tonight."

All Chris could do was oblige and their time together was spent quietly, which was not normal for Stevie either; she could talk to a wall and be content with it as long as her mouth was moving.

As they left the spa after a massage and spending some time in the sauna, all Stevie wanted to do was go back to the room she was vacaning; not like her at all to want to spend so much time alone when she was with her band mates. No one had a clue still that she was back on her cocaine habit. She wondered if she would even ever tell anyone since she planned on quitting this on her own but could she?

The driver took them back to Christine's home and the guys were out on a fishing boat they rented, John knew everything about boats so it was his plan. Actually, John was the only one that was quite interested in taking the boat out on the rough cold waters. Mick and Lindsey were fond of the heat more so than the cold, there would be no swimming in this water.

Jumping in the shower, Stevie let the water run over her body, literally staring in to space and not paying attention to how hot the water was actually getting; she screamed as she felt a boiling sensation and she quickly turned the shower to cold. Crawling up in to a ball in the corner of the shower and crying. She hoped that Chris couldn't hear her and was also glad that Karen was off on her own and not even staying at Chris's. Karen was off in the city in her own suite, paid for by Stevie, giving her a small break until the tour started up again. It was one of the best ideas that Stevie had in a long time.

"You know it would be great if you weren't so stupid," Stevie stared at herself in the mirror, examining her bright red back. Her skin took a fast beating to that hot water and she still couldn't believe that she let it get that hot. What could she have even been thinking of that made her forget to adjust the temperature?

Lindsey.

Walking back in to the bedroom, Stevie tried hard not to give in to the drugs just waiting to be abused on the nightstand next to her bed. She bit her lip and stared at it, petting her dog and trying to think of something else that could release the tension building up inside her.

Stevie pulled out her journal and the first thing she started writing about was Lindsey. She wrote about what happened last night and in to the morning where he brought her to orgasm. He had told her specifically not to write about it in her journal but who was he to tell her what to and not to write in her own journal? Screw him, it was her thoughts and her life; not like anyone else was going to read this besides her!

Once she wrote down all she could she heard thunder rumbling outside, she loved the rain and loved thunder; it made for a peaceful atmosphere for relaxation. Maybe she could get through this day with out touching the coke.