Alone again (byler)

Chapter 17

Longer chapter cause I feel bad I haven't updated in a while. Anyways prepare urself for Mike the simp Wheeler.

Will

The serrating space between us has been sealed and now our lips are tied.

It's surreal. The entire ordeal. The idea that Mike is kissing me: Will Byers. A boy. Mike is kissing a boy and that boy is me.

Or is it the other way round? What if I am
the one kissing Mike? What if I was the one who leaned in, not him?

It had to be me. It couldn't of been him who initiated this. He doesn't want this. He can't want this.

Yet I can't help but embrace the kiss. His supple lips softly placed over mine. His soft hands gently clasping my cheeks as he further encases my lips.

He doesn't pull away.

Why isn't he pulling away?

A doubt displaces the euphoria permeating my thoughts.

He doesn't want this. He can't want this. It's out of pity. It has to be out of pity.

Embarrassment tugs at my chest. This is a pity kiss. Mike is giving me a pity kiss.

I want this. I do. I've wanted this for so long. But, not like this. Not out of pity.

Happiness starts to lack sustenance as demurral erupts out my thoughts. I know exactly what I am supposed to do. I'm supposed to pull away.

But, in all honestly I don't think  I can bring myself to unlock the strong enfold between the two of us. To slip out of his tender hold.

God, it's an impassable predicament. It's not fair. It's not fair of him to do this to me. To be so gentle and pacifying. Why does he have to make it so easy? So easy surrender to his lenient hold.

It's not fair.

It's not fair at all. Because, he knows. He knows exactly what he's doing. He knows I love him. He knows how much I want this. So why? Why would he do this?

My mind stirs back to the idea of Mike doing this out of charity . It makes sense after everything. After the quarry and the cliff. This is his way of keeping me close; making sure I don't try to hurt myself again. It's his way of keeping me stable and out of harms reach .

He just wants me to be happy.

It's not fair. It's so not fair. Because I want to stay. I don't want to separate myself from the hold of  alleviating arms or to cleft the connection between the two of our lips . I want to stay like this: my lips rested upon his. I want to stay in this solacing state forever.

But, I can't. We can't. It's not right.

I gather enough mental strength to sever the connection between our two lips. The welcoming warmth is once situated within me is replaced with frigid spikes of demur.  

I watch as Mike's silky lips stretch into a bright smile as his soft gaze traces back to me.

Maybe he's faking it; his smile. Maybe he's masking his repulse. What if I've ruined this? What if I've ruined us?

Sure, maybe he kissed back but it was all out of pity. It had to be. It's the only thing thing that makes sense.

I sit across from Mike dreading the emergence of our next conversation.

Mike

Woah.

WOAH.

I let out a heavy breath as Will breaks away his lips away from mine.