Silakbo -LNRS One Shots.

Regrets

I saw her seating on the bench, and like she promised, she still waits for me.

Someone said she's always there, seating and looking at the same view and... and waiting for me. All these years that passed, she's still there—waiting patiently.

Kahit walang kasiguraduhan na babalik pa ako.

My heart aches on the sight of her like that, her eyes is still deep, and it's still amazes me how she can stare at me like that without me fainting.

Wait. When was the last time that we looked at each other's eyes?

I can't seem to remember, maybe years ago.Yeah.

I want to go near her, apologize for leaving her without hearing her explanations. I know it's too late, but i still hope to glance at her even for the last time.

But then i hesitated.

My hands starts to shake and my mind is fighting with me. I took a deep breath and decided to head back.

Gustong gusto kita lapitan pero bakit ganito nararamdaman ko? Gusto ko nang umupo d'yan uli sa katabi mo pero naduwag na naman ako.

I walked away and looked at her for the last time, she's still seating—waiting patiently. But i left. I left her again.

Sorry mahal. Pasensya na ah.

When i was about to hop into my car, i heard an ambulance heading towards to the love of my life's direction. My heart beats fastened and i my throat dried immediately, i don't know why.

I don't know why but i ran faster than i intended. And then i saw the people gathering. And it's, it's familiar, it's Leon.

She looks sleeping peacefully. Her head rests on the side of the bench and her eyes—her beautiful eyes are closed.

Excuse me!Excuse me!

I went near her, for the first time in years. I hugged her tight not wanting to let go, but i noticed something.

Oh my God, she's not breathing.

I hugged her lifeless body. I don't want to let her go, please not now. Ang sakit yakapin ka ng ganito, i kissed her lips.

First kiss.

I love you, i love you, i love you.

Iyak ako nang iyak.

Second kiss.

Mahal na mahal kita.

Third kiss.

Gumising kana, nandito na ako, patawad.

Fourth kiss.

Gising na mahal.

Fifth kiss.

I love you, i love you.

Then my lips landed on her forehead. I cried like there's no tomorrow. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kakayanin.

Tears flowed and one of the rescuers tapped me, signaling me that they are going to get her body. I saw sadness on his eyes also.

Was it because they can't save her? Or because he saw me crying relentlessly?.

I don't know why.

__

The sky formed a beautiful colour formation, the sky is setting also. It is indeed something worth waiting for. I would also want to sit there if that beautiful view will fill my eyes after a long wait. It is worth waiting for.

Pasensya mahal, I'm not worth of your waiting.

Someone, again told me that she said she would rather see me than that beautiful beautiful view serving in front of her. She told me also that she said I'm the most beautiful being for her. Sinong tanga ang ipagpalalit ang lahat ng magaganda para sa akin? Siguro s'ya, pero hindi s'ya tanga, mahal lang nyya talaga ako.

Patawad mahal.

Masyado kita pinag intay. Nahuli na ako.

Her family gathered in the morgue, and i was left in the parking lot, griping my stirring wheel. My sobs are loud and i didn't even tried to suppress them unlike the old times when i tried to not cry because i know when i start crying i won't be able to stop.

But this time i let myself cry, i let myself feel, i let myself grieve.

Paano kung lumapit ako?Masisilayan ko pa kaya yung mga mata n'ya?

Paano kung lumapit ako?Maririnig ko pa kaya na sabihin n'ya sa huling pagkakataon na mahal n'ya ako?

Paano nga kung lumapit ako. Mahahawakan ko pa kaya yung mga kamay nya?

Hindi ko na alam.

Bakit ba kase hindi ko alam?

On the other side i think it's okay because if i went near her, i think i cannot take it seeing her slowly loosing her breath.

Pero, paano nga?

Why did i hesitated?.

Masyado ka na bang napagod? At umalis ka na. Ang tanga ko lang kase 'di man lang kita hinayaang magpaliwanag nong mga panahon na akala ko di mo na ako mahal, na may iba ka ng mahal. Pero mali ako eh, maling mali ako. Tama ka nga pala, ako nga lang pala ang mahal at mamahalin mo, pero bakit tinotoo mo na ngayon yung sa susunod na habang buhay?

Now, she's the one who left me. And now, i will wait forever just to see her, touch her ,hug her ,and tell her that i love her, again.

This time, i will be the one to wait kahit alam ko namang 'di na s'ya babalik. Kung magpapaintay ka sana, sana 'di naman yung and'yan ka sa taas. Kase wala ng pag-asa na makita kita.

I wish for one last moment with you.

Sana di ako naduwag, sana 'di ko sinayang mga pagkakataon at panahon na and'yan ka pa. Siguro masaya kang nawala at siguro ngayon, 'di ako nagsisisi dahil pinakawalan na naman kita.

You're the one who left this time. And i am the one who would promise to wait for you, even if it takes forever.

Ps. pahalagahan ang mga bagay hanggang and'yan pa, cherish every moment, eenjoy nyo lang, para walang pagsisisi sa huli, lahat worth it, lahat may lesson. Ingat mga mahal!