The Story Of Forever (Todobaku)

No Longer Sacred

Shouto was a prisoner to his own bed.

Essence of June glimmered through the windows, the sun's glare transforming patches of the cerulean walls to a bright cyan. Mother Nature was in a good mood today, the perfect ingredient for a long-awaited weekend. But for Shouto, it might as well've been raining. Misery and regret prevented any appreciation for the variety of colors around him.

Revealing his crush on Hitoshi was not on yesterday's agenda. But when Katsuki kept prodding him, pushing him, nearly threatening him, Shouto blurted it out to make him stop. Sure, it worked, but at what cost?

Even if it was just to one person, even though he was positive Katsuki would never tell anyone, Shouto's secret was no longer his. He was unsure how to feel. Angry? Scared? Betrayed? Ashamed of himself for succumbing to pressure? For the last twenty-four hours, he experienced all these emotions. Sometimes one by one, other times all at once.

He hadn't spoken to Katsuki since their fight. Katsuki texted a few times, but Shouto ignored him. The hurt still cut too deep for Shouto to want to make amends yet. They had their arguments in the past, but never like this.

Besides, confronting Katsuki meant confronting what Shouto confessed to him. It was tortuous enough saying it the first time. Admitting it again, especially so soon, Shouto wasn't ready for that.

But even though he was furious at Katsuki, Shouto spent much of last night and this morning crying over him. Fuyumi told him once that friendship break ups can sometimes hurt more than romantic ones. Shouto had never been in love, but enduring this weight on his chest whenever he replayed their argument in his head, he knew it was true. To hold this much hostility for someone he loved so much punctured a hole in his heart. Shouto wished he could just be angry, nothing else. But that would never happen. Not when Katsuki meant this much to him.

Still, Shouto's youth and immaturity shone through in moments like these. He was still mad, mostly because he still wanted to be mad. If Katsuki wanted to talk, he'd have to wait.

A soft knock on the door rattled him from his thoughts. Shouto, cocooned in his blankets, kept his eyes on the ceiling as Rei's footsteps grew close. She knew something was troubling Shouto since last night, but didn't ask for specifics. It relieved some stress. Discussing his sexuality with his mother was the opposite of what Shouto wanted to do today.

With Rei opening the door, Kori slipped inside and jumped on Shouto's bed, getting comfortable by his feet. Rei joined as well, though she sat on the edge by Shouto's hip. 

She caressed his head. "Baby, Katsuki's here to see you."

Shouto scowled as he flickered his eyes toward her. "Tell him I'm dead."

"Oh," Rei responded, tone still gentle. "Okay."

She tiptoed out of the room, leaving Shouto to sulk by himself. Of course Katsuki showed up. He was never the type to take no for an answer, as proven yesterday.

Shouto shut his eyes and silenced the conflicting thoughts overpowering his brain. He listened for Rei's and Katsuki's voices in the distance, desperate to eavesdrop. An impossible task to fulfill as he was a floor above them, and his bedroom door was closed.

He wondered what Katsuki said when Rei answered the door. How he looked. Were his eyes heavy from not sleeping well the night before, just like Shouto's? Did he stand at the Todoroki's doorstep for several minutes, debating whether or not to ring the bell? Did he not care at all and only came to ask Shouto for his Dynamight hoodie back?

Dwelling over the possibilities hurt his head. Why did it matter? Shouto had no intention of speaking with Katsuki anyway. He was content in his warm comforter, his cat at the end of his bed, and a day to himself. Shouto refused to waste his precious Saturday missing Katsuki.