The Story Of Forever (Todobaku)

Coping and Confiding

Katsuki coped with having a crush on his best friend for seven whole days. It wasn't too challenging, given he was busy with baseball and school. And in the moments he was with Shouto, Katsuki buried those feelings deep within the pit of his heart and vowed to never release them.

But after a week, he cracked.

He went to school that day mercilessly on edge. Shouto noticed it in the car, of course, but Katsuki denied, denied, denied until his jaw ached. He didn't want Shouto believing there was anything wrong. There wasn't anything wrong. Katsuki was just battling intense feelings for the person closest to him. Plenty of people around the world were in this same predicament.

Well, except there was the additional complication that Shouto was a boy.

Did this make Katsuki bisexual now? Or gay, even? Since he discovered his feelings for Shouto, Katsuki hadn't looked at girls the same. It was like his attraction for them vanished, or decreased just enough to no longer have an effect on him. They were pretty, but Shouto was prettier.

Katsuki never brimmed with so much self hatred. He and Shouto could've spent a lifetime together, growing up and traveling the world and becoming godfathers to each other's children and creating memories they'll cherish in their old age. But only as friends. Why must his heart desire more?

Then there was Shouto's sketchbook sitting in his backpack. Katsuki flipped through a few pages each day, but that was his limit. Shouto was insanely talented, and his stories were well crafted, but Katsuki felt inferior reading them. For the first time he'd been granted access to the most vulnerable part of Shouto's brain, one whose existence he wasn't even aware of before. It was a privilege, but also a burden. How could Katsuki control his feelings for Shouto when his artistic mind added further to his already unattainable beauty?

"Agh!"

Katsuki jumped when he stepped back to open his locker and accidentally brushed against someone. Shrieking from an inoffensive bump of the shoulder was embarrassing enough. But when Katsuki adjusted his eyes on the person before him, he swore the universe was playing a cruel joke.

Camie avoided eye contact as she cowered into herself, a fidgeting hand clutching the strap of her messenger bag. "Oh," she muttered. "Um...sorry."

Katsuki's face went pale. It'd been months since he heard Camie's voice. He still saw her roaming the UA halls or at the occasional house party, but they hadn't exchanged words since their breakup.

But as the apology rolled off Camie's tongue, Katsuki's spirit weakened. They were strangers now, but their history couldn't be erased.

"No," Katsuki started, "I'm-"

He wanted to tell Camie she was right. He pulled away from her, unbeknownst to himself, and fell for someone else. Katsuki hurt her. He let her down. And he was so suffocated with guilt that it was a miracle he hadn't died yet.

Before he could finish, Camie was long gone. It wouldn't have made sense for her to stay and chat, but disappointment still rushed through Katsuki as she slipped away, becoming just another face in the hall. When he lost her for good, his face fell crestfallen.

"-sorry."

Katsuki turned back to his now opened locker and stuffed his head inside. Every part of him hurt. The weight of his problems crushed his spine. It was all too much. Katsuki just needed to vent his feelings, scream into an abyss. But since he didn't have an abyss, an eighteen inch wide metal locker sufficed.

"AHHHH!"

"You okay?"

Startled once more, Katsuki jerked his head upward, the crown of his blond mane colliding with the bottom of the upper shelf. A harsh cry escaped his lips, paired with Katsuki cupping his palm over the area of his head where his pain rushed to.