Chapter 28: "-because I loved you and still do."

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She ran down memory lane, and it hit her that she never showed her concern for Axel. Her gaze shifted back to Axel when he got up and slowly walked around her and asked,

"Remember that one time, it was my 16th birthday, and I'd invited you all?" She nodded, her mind taking her back to the party setting; it was on the rooftop of their villa. Axel had invited a few of his school friends, Seb and Ver. Josh and Luca had helped arrange everything and were on supervising duty since they were the only 'adults'.

None of them were big party people. Since it was his birthday, Axel had decided that they'd dance a little, cut the cake, have lots of food and drinks, which minors were allowed to consume-, and then to end it all, they could watch a movie with lots of ice cream. It was a fantastic party, and everyone enjoyed it a lot. They danced to many songs, ate the truffle cake, some pesto pasta, the classic pizza made by Ms. Carter, who had always been excellent at preparing Italian food, and lastly, ice cream.

Breaking her chain of thoughts, he continued, "Honestly, it was the best and maybe... the worst birthday ever." She looked at him confused and dared to ask, "Why?" in a small voice. He looked at her, giving her a scoffing, sad smile; he continued, "Because it was the day I started thinking you might have feelings for me. Because it was the day I overthought everything and realized I might have fallen for you. Because it was the day I rejected my best friend since I'd realized I liked you. But it was also the most memorable day. I did have a lot of fun. I wish a lot of what happened that day wouldn't have, but I wouldn't want to take back the rest of it."

Veronica was growing more confused, "What do you mean, Axel?"

He didn't want to turn soft again; he didn't know why he'd actually done what he did; kidnapping Veronica and separating her from Seb wasn't ever on his mind... he just wanted some time with her? He just wanted her to know what and how he felt? He didn't want to be this person, right?

Sighing, he asked, "Do you recollect how you, Seb, Valerie, and I were the last one's remaining during the party?"

She nodded, recollecting that she, Sebastian, Axel, and Valerie- some friend of Axel's from school- were the only ones still there to watch the movie, along with the two 'adults.' And since the rooftop had gotten all messy, they'd decided to shift to Axel's bedroom to watch the movie. Axel's room was spacious, with a large king-sized bed, two mini sofas on either side and a television set facing the bed. It was a spacious and convenient arrangement for all of them. While Sebastian, Veronica, Axel, and Valerie sat on the bed, Josh and Luca took each of the sofas on either side of the bed, and all of them started watching- Despicable Me.

She realized she had again gone back to thinking about the day and zoned out, she quickly looked up at him again, and he continued, "That day when we were watching the movie, we all slept off somewhere in the middle of the movie. You, Seb, Valerie, and I all slept on the bed, snuggling into each other. I still remember, for some reason, I felt so happy to have Valerie so close to me. When she slept off, she hugged me and looked adorable." He had a sad smile playing on his lips, eyes glossed with multiple emotions; he looked like a boy reminiscing old memories while trying not to break down because of the flooding emotions. He looked so beautiful yet so broken, it hurt. He took in a deep breath before continuing, "But then the other day when I woke up, the first thing I saw was how you had your arms around me, practically caging me, your face far too close to mine, and you looked so good, so beautiful, like the most gorgeous lady after mom to walk on the planet." He had the most genuine smile on his face, reminiscing those memories. 

He continued, "That was the moment- I realized I really liked you. Later that day, when Valerie, my best friend, asked me out, I didn't even think twice before rejecting her nicely because even though she was and still is a person I talk to about almost everything, I knew I had strong feelings for you. It wasn't just that day that I developed feelings for you; it happened over a long time. The way you were such an adorable human who almost everyone found comfort in. How you hate cooking but absolutely adore baking. How you got possessive when literally any other girl interacted with me, or even if I mentioned Valerie, was cute and lowkey gave my overthinking self butterflies at first. Then as time passed by, I started realizing you had feelings for Sebastian, and being jealous because of the other girls I was friends with was just something toxic and irreversible about you. But that didn't make me stop having feelings for you. It's a shame how I knew and know very clearly that you love Sebastian with all your heart, and still, I went this far just to talk with you. I never wished to hurt you because I loved you and still do. It does hurt, but that really doesn't justify me going this far to have a talk. I don't know at this point why I did this. I'm sorry-" 

And with that, Axel broke into tears, and it broke her heart into thousands of pieces. She didn't know when she'd started crying, but by the wetness of her cheeks, she realized she was crying too, for hurting Axel, one of her closest friends, so wrong. It broke her to be so selfish. Without her knowledge, she'd moved closer to him, hugging his broken figure kneeling on the ground. He kept sobbing, and she patted his back softly, constantly murmuring little apologies and comforting words while tears streamed down her cheeks.

--x--

hi

that was that, and I hope it was good- this took a long to come because I stopped writing midchapter and didn't return to it for like 4 days, and I totally forgot- what I was about to write after what I had written back then dskjdskj then I went in a major writer's block T.T

anyway, thank you so much for reading! Take care, byee c:

love,

estrel <3

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