Chapter 18

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Camilla's POV

It would all be a bad dream. It would all belong to the sphere of my wild imagination while my mind has been turned off.

Only it isn't.

It isn't because I am laying on Matteo's bed. It isn't because I can feel my bare skin against the mattress without a piece of clothing protecting me. It isn't because a soft blanket is the only thing covering my body. And it isn't because I am hugging that pillow so hard as if my life is depending on it.

I am hugging it the same way I hugged it last night, when I let my tears fall for my heart to stay silent. Only it didn't. It screamed all night. It didn't stop. It hurt. Out of the egoistic need for Matteo to want me. As I wanted him last night. As I want him the same this morning after yesterday's humiliation.

He left! He just...left.

Leaving me here to do what? What was I supposed to do?

I remember yesterday's events briefly and the more my mind awakes the more details come back to me. I remember the party and how I told Christian off. I remember us driving back home with me on Matteo's lap and God! Do I remember how good my body felt when he touched me!

But that was all before he just left, freaking out. And the worst thing is I don't remember that particular detail. I don't remember why he left. What did I do? What did I say? I don't know if my brain refuses to recall my exact words because of the humiliation I felt or it's just a side effect of the alcohol but I hate the fact I simply can't remember! What did I say that freaked him out that bad?!

I force my body and brain to cooperate in order for me to finally sit up. I hold my head with both hands trying to suppress the sudden headache that hit me. My eyes blink open slowly and I look around the room. No-one is here. Maybe it's for the best. I wouldn't confess my need for him if I wasn't drunk...so maybe I'd regret it if we actually did something!

Agh! Who am I kidding?! I wouldn't! I can still feel the pleasant burn on my body just where he touched me yesterday. And damn me but I need to feel that touch again!

I turn my head to the night table next to the bed just to find a cup with mint tea. As soon as the smell fills my nostrils my eyes widen and I already feel like I'm more awake than before. I reach for the single cup placed there and take a generous sip letting it sit in my mouth for several seconds before swallowing it back in my dry throat. The taste gives me a refreshment I need but it's not enough to wash away the shame that for some reason I'm feeling.

Matteo: My mother used to make me this tea.

I freeze. No...he is not here! I looked around! There was no sign of him here! I slowly look up and meet his eyes. His body as I remembered it yesterday. His tattoos extending on his right arm down to his hand just to meet his shoulder and part of his upper chest. A beautiful chaos of inc on his body. His hair is dump and he only wears a towel wrapped around the lowest part of his waist.

Matteo: She used to say mint and chamomile work as medicine. We only had mint this time.

I hold his gaze as he takes some slow steps to approach me on the bed. I take another sip of my cup hoping I'd somehow avoid this awkwardness but it doesn't help at all!

Matteo: How are you feeling?

I repeat the question in my head looking Matteo in the eye afraid that I'm still dreaming and this is only a part of it. He actually asked me how I'm feeling!

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