Tore

eight | go figure

LeSane

I haven't been able to sleep. I don't know why this beautiful stranger has this hold on me.

She's being manipulated by his money, his charm, and their twisted history.

Think about it.

He bullied her, but loved her?

He fucked her up.

She doesn't even know what love is for real. She wouldn't know if it smacked her in the face.

All she knows is abuse, manipulation, and hurt.

He introduced her to love and ruined her perception of the world.

Let's face it, he fucked shorty on the low, even took her virginity, ducked her, cheated the rest of his way through school off her brains, and graduated, forgetting about her by moving across the country.

She's opened up to me.

Told me these things, crying and yearning for a better future when it comes to love being loved.

But she still chooses him and I'm self aware enough to know that she forever will.

And I don't know if I can be okay with that.

She has too much potential.

Too much light.

A light, which he dims.
..
Leigh

I woke up to annoying birds chirping loudly, no alarm, and nothing but a beaming sun.

I miss the rain.

I wasn't in my bed, but at Golden Gate. I've been staying back and forth between here, Krissy's, and LeSane's.

LeSane's place was nice and all but the thought of yet another man thinking I needed him as a shoulder to cry on, at this point in time, was not something I am too fond of.

No favors for favors.

I've been on an apartment search but the West Coast is expensive and Kaine pays me more than enough, but what if this arrangement that we have doesn't work out? Will I be left alone for another?

I haven't saved enough.

I barley got any sleep here.

All I could see was Kaine's steel eyes and imagine his body, hear his demanding and dismissive , deep speech, and get a waft of his strong teakwood-vanilla shea butter smell.

And I wouldn't say that he hasn't been trying to get me to come home to him, but he's toxic. And I could only be his employee for so long.

He treated his employees like trash and I can't imagine what's like being on regular payroll.

I genuinely cannot fathom how a nigga from the hood, treats  people at the bottom with such little respect.

I think at times, he forgets where he comes from and I want to be here to remind  him.

Kaine

I woke up to the smell of no breakfast, yet again. Didn't hear any cooing or Barney on the television. No completed and folded laundry. Nor my clothing being  laid out for me.

It now meets me at the office & I dress myself.

I checked my phone, no missed calls from her.

She really doesn't need me.

It's hard for me to come to terms with this.

She's always needed me. Right?