My Roommate is My Crush

Chapter 10

Tommy POV

I know there's something more about that. Josh isn't the type to get hot headed so easily and seeing him like that make it worse to me, like there's something that I don't even know although I got some guess but I'm wishing that my guess was wrong. And to make it even worse my overthinking mindset is killing me to the point that I am asking myself that do I have the rights to feel like this since in the beginning there's nothing clear between us aside from knowing that there's a mutual feeling from the both.

I know that I am such a fuss but who can really blame me? In this world where my existence feels like a sin and there is no right to be loved. Being thirsty and greedy about love is not really my fault. I am just casually making myself feel better by ignoring the judgement of everyone.

After taking sometime just sitting here in the park and just killing myself by thinking so many things that may not be possible to happened. I just decided that was enough being such a emo slash gay.

I stood up, go to my motorcycle and make sure that face is ok, my eyes are not puffy and my head are not clouded by things that I don't even want to think about it. After making sure that I am ready to go home, I started the engine and start maneuver my motor.

I just got home and it was so dark all the lights are off that is probably mom is already asleep. I just went straight to my room and wash myself before going to sleep.

Alarms ringing....

I just woke up by my alarm which I just shut down because I'm too lazy to go to school. Like I don't want to see Josh for the meantime because I don't know how can I face him. I am just thinking how childish I am yesterday and wondering is Josh worried about me since I just turned my phone into a silent mode. Hayst now I am blaming myself for real. I am just gonna wait for Josh to open up about it but for now I want to sleep more since Mom probably don't even know that I am here.

I just went back on sleeping and many hours passed by I woke my whole body along with my spirit. I looked at my phone and see 99+ missed call and 45 messages from Josh. My mind went into space for a minute, I just didn't know what to do next. My overthinking are being stopped by my stomach growling since it is past 2:00pm I didn't have a breakfast and lunch.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth I started to go down to the kitchen and make something. I was almost at the living room until I saw a silhouette of a man that makes me scared and grab something that can defend myself. I slowly walking to the man not until I realized that it Josh all along.

He faced me and that makes me stop immediately from walking towards him and start running back to my room. Why Josh is here at my house? What is he doing here? Got so many question that make run so slow and didn't even realize that Josh is already hugging me from behind. I tried to escape on his embrace since it's making me so weak and there's so many butterfly at my stomach.

"W-why are being like this To-Tommy?" he stuttered while asking that question. That makes me stop escape from his hug and started to get teary eyes.

I just gathered all my courage before saying " I don't even know Josh".

"Tommy, just tell me what did I do wrong?" Josh is begging and the hug tighten.

"I don't know---" I paused for about a minute and continue "Josh, I'm sorry for being such a childish I just overthink what happen yesterday. I am not forcing you to say something about the guy yesterday but it just I can't stop being such a fuss" I said while pouting.

Josh slowly let go the hug and carefully face me towards him that makes me blush and bow my head hiding my puffy eyes to him. But Josh carefully held my chin and slowly lifted up my face and make sure that he can see my full face in red.

"I'm very sorry for making you overthink. Tommy do you trust me?" Josh said it to me while his hands and fingers are wondering on my hair and face. " I will tell you everything about that guy when I am ready." Josh saying it so purely that makes me sure to believe on him.

Everyone has own problems to deal with. It's just that many of us wanted to deal with it in silent. I understand Josh, I know there's something more to it. But if Josh is not yet ready to tell it to me, I respect it.

"Hmm.. sorry" I said is sincerely.

"Sorry" and slowly closing the distance between our faces until I can feel his warm breath. I look in his eyes full of emotion, too strong that makes me close my eyes and feels his lips touched mines.

We slowly embrace each other lips to the point that we both need to catch our breath. When he is about to continue kissing me my stomach started to growl so loud that Josh was able to hear it and laugh.

Ipagpapatuloy...