Chapter 13: tense

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I didn't want her to notice how much her statement hurt me, so I put my poker face on and chuckled.

"Yeah right, I really don't know what her problem is, but we got rid of her in the end..." I would definitely not give her the satisfaction of rejecting me, and it was probably better like this anyway. She was the queen of Wakanda, and I was just an art student she liked enough to let her study in her country. I would leave in a few months, so it wouldn't have worked out either way.

"We should sleep, I have stuff to do tomorrow," I said, switching off the light on the night stand. She furrowed her brows, giving me a confused look at my sudden coldness. I turned my back to her, silently hoping she would say something, but she just pulled the blanket over her, loosely throwing one arm over my waist. We were right next to each other, but it felt like there was a huge space between us.

I tried to silence my thoughts, closing my eyes, trying to fall asleep, but I couldn't stop overthinking her words. Did she really mean them? Maybe she just said it because she thought it was what I wanted. But I brought her home to my family, I showed her my most vulnerable side by talking about my mom. Hell, she was the first person to hear me play guitar in five years. It wasn't that big of a deal, if she had no feelings for me, then I could get over mine too. It's not like I was in love with her, I just had a little crush. Who was I kidding? I was obviously head over heels for her.

I heard Shuri's deep breaths behind me, she had fallen asleep after seconds, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I felt the weight of her arm on my waist, and even though we had slept in the same bed for months, that night I felt as if I were lying in the arms of a stranger.

When I finally managed to fall asleep, I had half-heartedly convinced myself that it was no big deal and that I just had to push my feelings aside. I would get over it eventually, but I couldn't lose her yet.

****

Things were weird the next morning. I was probably the one making it awkward, but I didn't know how to act without analyzing every gesture and every word in my head. Shuri on her side didn't let anything show, or well, maybe she just didn't care.

I had woken up at 7 am with my heart racing with no reason, but I wasn't able to go back to sleep after that, so I laid awake once again replaying the events of last night in my head. After an hour, I couldn't take it anymore, so I got up to take a shower. I let the hot water run over my body, hoping it would make me feel better, which it actually did until I left the bathroom finding Shuri awake on the bed texting someone over her Kimoyo beads.

"Good morning," I muttered, sitting down on the edge of the bed with my back turned to her.

"Good morning," She replied, and I could feel her eyes on my back, "You should've woken me up, I would've joined you..."

"Probably not a good idea, I need to get to campus soon, gotta pick up some stuff..." I picked up my phone, not daring to turn around. Ava had texted me, telling me that she had met Kim in the club and that she seemed pissed. I hadn't had a chance to tell her what had happened with my ex, so I asked her if she had time later to get a coffee. We would leave to Wakanda in a few days and I wouldn't see my best friend for another two months, so I had planned to spend some time with her anyway.

Shuri got up from bed without reacting to my response, putting on her clothes from last night before heading to the bathroom to freshen up.

It didn't seem like she thought that things were weird. She rambled about some club she went to with Riri a while back, not noticing that I barely said anything. At home, I put on a pair of low-waisted jeans, a long-sleeved shirt that Ava had lent me a while ago and a thin brown scarf.
Shuri was taking a shower, so I sat down on my bed, looking through my messages. Ava had replied, asking when we would meet up and if Shuri was coming too. I answered that it would be just the two of us today and if she could meet me in an hour.


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