Chapter 18: distraction

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My dad woke me up the next morning with a cup of coffee and pancakes, wishing me a happy new year. I had completely forgotten that it was the first of January, due to what happened.

He placed it on the couch table and sat down next to me. I wrapped myself in my blanket, pulling my knees to my chest. We didn't talk at first, we just enjoyed our breakfast with Gilmore Girls playing in the background. I was glad that he didn't pressure me to talk or asked questions, even though I knew he was worried. 

After a while he had to go to work, so he told me to call if I needed something and that there were leftovers in the fridge in case I got hungry. He pulled me into a long hug, whispering into my hair that everything was going to be fine. My chest tightened and there was a lump in my throat as I tried to suppress my tears. After he left, I continued watching the show, trying to not think about her.

Willow came downstairs after a few hours and snuggled up to me. I was so lucky to have a family that I could always rely on. If it wasn't for them, I would've been so lost. We watched a few episodes in silence before Willow asked me if I wanted to do something. I had no idea what she was thinking about, but I couldn't say no to her puppy eyes. She pulled me up from the couch and ran upstairs, telling me to wait at the kitchen table. When she came back her tiny arms were struggling to balance her drawing utensils.

"Okay, so we played a game in school and it is so fun," she explained, placing the utensils on the table, and handing me a piece of paper and some pencils.

"Alright, and how does it work?" I chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"So, I draw some random shapes and lines on your sheet, and you do the same on mine, then we have to make something out of it, for example, a girl from my class drew a circle and some lines on my sheet and I drew a dragon out of it, and you have to use all the shapes..." she explained confidently.

I created a flower out of the shapes she had drawn for me, and she made a horse out of my lines. The game was quite fun, and we played it a few more times until she had to get ready for her football practice. After she left, I was alone with no one to distract me.

My thoughts started to wander. All the memories from my time in Wakanda flooded my mind, making the lump in my throat get bigger. I noticed that I still had my Kimoyo Beads on, no one had asked me to return them, and I was so used to wearing them that I forgot. To my disappointment, there was no message from Shuri and the temptation to text her was big, so I took the bracelet off and went downstairs to the studio. 

My guitar was still leaning against the desk, where I had put it when Shuri and I were laying on the couch, and she told me that she couldn't get me off her mind. I felt a tug in my chest at the thought of the gentle look in her dark eyes when she told me. The picture was quickly overshadowed by the image of her pleading expression when she asked me to leave. 

I sat down on the couch, the guitar in my lap as I started to play. The soft sound of my mom's favourite song filled the room, calming me down as I focused on the notes. I sat there for hours, starting to learn a new song, and playing the ones I knew by heart.


I was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. My dad was standing in the door frame with a small smile on his face.

"You should play more often, you got your mom's talent," he said, taking a seat next to me.     "Are you feeling better?" He asked, closely observing my face.

"A little bit," I mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

"Do you want to tell me what happened now?" I knew that he was trying his best to not pressure me, so I took a deep breath before explaining what had happened. He listened quietly without interrupting, pulling me into a short hug as I finished the story and struggled to hold back the tears.

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