Nocturnal Me (Nameless Ghoul Rain/Water x Reader)

Chapter 22- Kismet (Part 2)

     Rain held his breath and let his teardrops fall out of him. He let your words sink into the membrane of his soul and soak through to the very core. He let himself feel and understand what you were saying, and he let himself have the courage to believe it. He knew you were sincere, your body sending off waves of pleas to make him accept a new truth.

     "You... you can feel that? The... the anger?" He asked warily. Your bottom lip disappeared between your teeth as you inhaled a shuddering breath and nodded.

     "I feel everything, Rain." Your voice tore up your words. "I feel it all. All your pain, all your sadness, how much you hate yourself right now... it's there. It's been so... so... strong tonight. Not just now, but... but when we were playing and talking and just, whenever I was around you, I felt you."

     He closed his eyes and scrunched up his nose in his dejection. He knew what was coming next.

     "I felt when you were happy, and I felt when you were stressed, and it wasn't nearly as strong and clear as it is now, but I think... I think I've been feeling them for probably a long time, maybe since I met you."

     Rain's hand squeezed yours as he tried to quell his oncoming panic attack.

     He couldn't run from this. He couldn't hide. He couldn't come up with an excuse or hope that you'll allow him the grace of not having to tell you like you did last time. He couldn't lie to you anymore. He didn't want to.

     Talk.

     "Do... you... do you know why?" He averted your gaze. You held his hand a little tighter.

     "You're my soulmate."

     A sudden sob erupted from him as the largest wave in the storm finally crashed over him, and all he could feel was his suffocating guilt.

     You knew. You knew the whole time.

     "Satan, I'm so sorry..." He put the bend of his thumb between his incisors, but you pulled his wrist back down to his lap before he could bite down and gripped it firmly. With both appendages pinned, he couldn't muffle the pathetic noises coming from his mouth.

     "Why?" You asked bewilderedly. He looked up at you, almost glaring at your question.

     "Why? What do you mean why?" He scoffed bitterly at himself. "'Cause it's me, that's why. You're stuck with me. How fucking unfortunate is that? You're stuck with a fucking mess."

     You clenched your jaw in frustration and hurt.

     "And you're stuck with me too, someone who's also a fucking mess." You snapped.

     Immediately, Rain's attitude changed from his self-loathing to panicked worry, frantic thoughts racing through his brain as he picked up on your anger with him. A cold sweat dripped down the back of his neck as he freaked out on himself for making you upset.

     "No you're not, you're-" He tried to explain, but you placed your hand on the middle of his chest, halting his sentence.

     "-Someone who cries themself to sleep at night." You sniveled and stared him down with saddened and vulnerable eyes. Your legs shifted themselves out from under you and moved your body closer to Rain. The hand that held his covered his cheek as you made him look at you. He could feel it shaking with your emotions. "Someone who puts too many unrealistic expectations to be perfect every single part of the day on themselves. Someone who couldn't even look at a fucking piano without nearly having an anxiety attack each time. Why is it so bad? Why is it bad that you have trauma? 'Cause I've got it too, Rain, and you still love me. You still want me after everything I've told you."