why do you hate me?

summer break

back in Lillys point of view.

02.08.2022-24.08.2022

I get out of the plane and just stand there in the airport, looking around.
Normally Millane would pick me up but she's still in the hospital with Pierre. Lewis and I broke up so he's not here to pick me up and Lando is spending a few days in Australia with Danny.

I see Charles get out of the plane and for a moment I think about talking to him but then I remember how fond he was of me talking with him during the flight, so I just drop it.

I call myself a cab and quickly tell the driver my address. Once I arrive at home I let myself fall onto my bed, not feeling the energy to do anything at all.
The last week was exhausting as hell and I'm beyond relieved that I don't have to get on the track for almost a month.

I find myself waking up about two hours later, still in the same clothes I wore before. It's already getting dark outside and I realize I haven't done anything all day so I get up to at least cook myself something.
In the end I also managed to do my laundry, clean my house a bit and practice some piano.
Just as I'm about to sit down on my couch and watch some TV someone rings on my door.
I get up to open it. Honestly I expected everyone but not him.

"what do you need?" I ask, not wanting to deal with him.

"I ehm" he looks at me with his clean green eyes. "can I come in?" I hesitate but let him pass me into my house after a second.

"can I stay here for a few days?"

"what?" I didn't expect that.

"I just-" he pauses. "Pierre is pretty much always with me whenever we race in Monaco and I can't stand being in my house right now. It just feels so wrong."

"yeah okay" I nod before walking back to the couch.
After some moments I feel the couch dip next to me and I feel Charles' eyes lingering on me.

"what?" I turn to look at him.

"thank you" is all he says before shifting his focus to the TV.

We don't really speak much for the rest of the day. I thought about talking to him quite a few times but I don't know what I'd say so I always just drop it.
There's a weird tension hanging around us but neither of us is saying something. For the next few days we just continue going on with our lives as if the other wouldn't exist.
I tried talking to him quite a few times but he always shut me down so I gave up eventually. It's honestly exhausting how he always flinches away from me whenever I get to close to him or how he immediately goes to the guests bedroom whenever I arrive back home.

It was also one of these days when I finally had enough of his behavior. I was out with some friends, returning pretty late. Charles didn't even ask where or how I was. He just watched me walk in and grabbed his glass of water to go upstairs.

"You look horrible Leclerc" I say and he turns around.

"thanks" he answers, trying to walk away again.

"honestly Charles what the fuck is this. You look like you haven't slept for the last five days or something like that. You're not eating properly, you're not leaving the house, please talk to me."

He sighs "It's nothing Lilly I'm just exhausted"

"yeah sure" I roll my eyes.
"Will you at least eat something with me if I cook some pasta?" I think I can see a faint smile on his face but it's already gone the next second so maybe I was just imagining it.

"okay" he says quietly, turning around and walking back to the table. I go into the kitchen and start making something to eat.

"alright come on" he looks up from the table and stops picking on his fingers.
"Charles nothing happened, he is fine so what's going on with you?"
he just shakes his head and I sigh before sitting down next to him and quietly eating my food. After we both finished he gets up and tries to leave upstairs but I stop him.