Better life with you

Chapter 9

It was quite late, Helena and I were still sitting in the restaurant and even though we had finished our meal, we didn't want to leave. It was quite pleasant to be around her. I don't know anyone who has made me feel this way. I could talk about anything because Helena didn't judge me. Helena listened to me.

She looked like she was really sorry for what happened last time and I decided to forgive her and try again, of course if she wants to.

"I think is time to go." Helena said and rang the bell that was placed on the table and served to signal to the waiter that we wanted something. I just nodded softly at her words and smiled a little.

A few minutes after Helena rang the bell, the waiter came to the place and Helena said she wanted to pay for both of us, for a while I objected that I would pay for myself even though I knew I couldn't afford it. After a few seconds of reaching out to Helena, I let go and allowed Helena to pay for me.

When I was told the amount to be paid, I almost choked on the extra wine I was drinking. Helena laughed a little at me and continued to pay with her card.

"I just wanted to ask if it would be okay if I walked you home?" Helena asked with a smile on her face.

"Of course it will be okay." I answered her  and I stood up, put on an autumn coat, because it's getting colder every day outside, and we left the restaurant.

It was already dark, there were fewer and fewer cars on the road and the streets were quiet. It was nice to walk in silence for once. Neither Helena nor I said anything, we just enjoyed the pleasant silence that neither of us experience often.

"So you regret what happened between us two weeks ago?" Helena broke the silence with a question that I did not expect. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell from her tone of voice what she wanted me to say. I think she asked me that on purpose because she wants me to be honest and not choose my words according to what she wants.

"No, I dont regret it." I said carefully and I meant it. Although I didn't even look at Helena, I felt that she was looking at me with a slight smile on her face. She slowed down and I subconsciously slowed down too. I turned to her and saw that she was slowly approaching me. I stepped back a little and leaned against the car that was behind me. I didn't want Helena to think that I didn't like her actions, so I smiled a little at her and she continued to approach me. She was a few centimeters away from me, if I wanted, it would be enough to stretch my neck a little and I would touch her lips. I expected her to do it, but she just stood and waited, comparing the thoughts running through her head. Finally she moved a little closer and rested her forehead against mine.

She didn't have to say anything, I knew how she felt, on the one hand she wants me, she wants to kiss me, make love to me, introduce me to her friends and family as someone who is special to her. On the other hand, she was afraid, she was afraid of her feelings for the much younger girl that I am, she was afraid that she would be judged for her feelings, she was afraid that I would worry because of her.

She waited, I knew she wanted me to take the next step, if it was anything.

After a while I filled the space between us by connecting our lips. I kissed her a little timidly but passionately at the same time. Helena immediately kissed me back, but after a while I pulled away.

"We shouldn't." I said quietly. Our hands were still intertwined and I was leaning against the car. Helena leaned her forehead against mine again and tried to kiss me. When her soft lips touched mine, a million butterflies flew in my stomach for a moment, I kissed her back, but then pulled away with the words: "We shouldn't kissing outside, someone can see us. In the worst case, we can be photographed." Helena pulled away and cleared the space between us so that I could move away from the car. I couldn't do it, I was too disillusioned to step away from the car. Helena noticed it and gave me her hand to help me. I finally pulled away from the stranger's car and we started walking. The mood has changed. Helena seemed sad and confused to me.