Better life with you

Chapter 20

Everyone has left, I can only see the bodyguard standing in front of the door and he looks at me strangely when I approach him.
"Um, hi, I'm Helena's friend, Helena's Bonham Carter's feiend, she said I should come here to the after party ." I say and he looks at me strangely.
"You are her friend and are you coming to the party?" he asks me, God, it sounds terrible when they call me her friend, but what should I do?
"Yes, It's me."
"So that's great, it means we both have good connections because I'm Queen Elizabeth's cousin and I'm invited to her birthday dinner." he says now ironically.
"Mmh, you won't let me in there, will you?" I ask and start to feel nervous. "Good guess."
"Fine, she told me to call her, so I'll call her and she'll come and pick me." I look at him and stand still hoping he will let me go because I don't want to distract Helena from the fun.
"Just go for it." he says, I'll turn around and start calling Helena, she doesn't pick up, Helena come on, I'll call her one more time and nothing again.
"She doesn't pick me up."
"Really, I don't believe that?" he says again ironically.
"Can't you go there and ask her?" "No, I can't, it's against the rules." I try to call her again, nothing.
"Sorry, you can't stay here, the theater closes after the show for business reasons. Try to get a ride, taxis are usually pulled out." I bow my head in embarrassment
"Thank you, I'll wait outside, I'm sure she'll call." I leave and sit on the steps of the theater.
I pick up my phone and try to call her a fourth time. Helena, please take it. Nothing, she won't answer, has she forgotten about me? I will place this bouquet next to me and try to text to her.
Me: Hey, sorry, but he didn't let me go, you probably forgot to tell him, but that's okay, could you come pick me up, I'm sitting outside on the stairs?

I send it to her and wait for a reply. Damn, what should I do, if I call a taxi, maybe she'll get mad at me for not being there, maybe she forgot about me, and maybe she forgot about me on purpose because she doesn't want me there. I have cigarettes in my purse, but I don't intend to use them today, do I? No nothing like that, she'll call me in a moment and it will be fine.

It wasn't.

I've been sitting here for an hour and a half, I had to put a sweatshirt under my butt, which I luckily took. The taxis are all busy and I don't want to bother Kate, she had a hard week in work and I want her to rest.
I take a cigarette out of my purse and light it. I hear a voice behind me "Can I have one?" I turn around and see the security guard who didn't want to let me go. He's probably in his twenties, quite handsome, and he wants a cigarette from me. I hand him one with a lighter and he sits down next to me.
"You should call a taxi."
"I tried" I look at him and inhale the smoke from the cigarette. We are sitting in a row, neither of us know the other's name, he was unpleasant to me, but still it is quiet and comfortable.
"You live far away?"
"a few minutes by car"
"I know I shouldn't, but if you wants I'll make an excuse and go ask her." he suggests, do I want it? I want to go after her and hear excuses why she forgot about me? a little tear fills my eyes.
"I'm not even in the mood anymore."
Some car is parked in the parking lot, it looks like Rye's car.... The guy inside looks like Rye. What the fuck is he doing here?
"Are you OK?" a guy asks me when he sees me looking at the car.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" he doesn't know what I want for the answer
"Um, well I do..." he goes to continue but I interrupt him
"Take it and tell her you bought her flowers." I'll hand them to him, I'll get dressed in a sweatshirt and throw on a coat over it. If there are no taxis, I will walk. I light a second cigarette and watch every movement of the guy in the car with my eyes, he is on the phone, he has a bag with him, a paper bag...

When I got home, I text Kate to read it in case she's still awake, I changed my clothes into my pajamas and immediately threw myself on the bed. I started crying. Why am I crying? I'm not the type of person who expresses my emotions, I mostly just keep it inside. Maybe it's because I have periods. Maybe it's because my girlfriend forgot about me, and maybe it's a because she is maybe cheating on me with her ex  even though she was supposed to be with me. Am I that bad? maybe I'm just annoying and she hung me around her neck and now she had to get rid of me. Maybe I'm just overthinking too much right now and her cell phone died, maybe Rye is there by chance and doesn't follow her at all. Well, my stupid head can't believe this 'good maybes'.