The Diary Of A Lonely Girl By Esmeray Love

January 7 2023

Don't have time for heyyy today,
I don't know what the fuck am I speaking.

Sooo I've been waiting soooo long to write this. Don't know why though. I feel weird.
Insanely weird.

Ok so when I said 'I have a feeling that I'll be back with something good' this is not what I meant but you know as I already said universe lovesss me soooooooooo much.

Well sorry I don't have a clue wtf am I doing. I've been restless for so long.

Ok ok yeah so I wanted to tell this that I went with mum and dad for shopping, let me reframe it actually, for dad's shopping (it's weird calling him dad lol). So I was having a good time until I saw myself in the mirror. It was shattering you know. I don't care about my face but the way my clothes were looking on me. I mean they weren't that bad. But I was looking soooooo short and it looked like my legs were barely even there. Man I hate this so much.
I wanna increase my height I want too but I don't know howwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Fuck

I've been thinking about 'him' 24x7. Not romantically or anything but shitty things that  are a huge waste of time. I've been trying to stop but then again I don't know howwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

What made my day shittier, the red tape store we went had so cool shoes like the word 'cool' was made for them. And I asked my mum to buy it. She said you can when you top in your exams.

After that I've just wanted to cry so much. Trust me, not because of my mum (maybe a little) but mostly of these things in my mind. My height, my face, my grades, my future, my dreams, my hopes, my life.
I'm failing at everything.
Every fucking thing.

And wow I have tears in my eyes now. No I'm not crying just one of those moments where you are super frustrated with yourself.

I want everything to work out universe why do you do this to me.....

And these views and votes are increasing giving me a very different and strong kind of anxiety. I just don't wanna get use to it and forget who I am and why did I start this. I don't want me to change.

Can't thank y'all enough for this though. Love y'all soooooooooo much (just insert and crying and smiling emoji here because there's no such emoji made apparently).

I have my exams after a few hours. Everything is so fucked up.
AND SPECIALLY THIS GUY. HE'S COMING AAND GOING AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH HIS CAR LIKE HE DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN OR SOMETHING DOES HE EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT HE IS DOING TO ME OHHH GODDDDDDDDDFFFDFC.

Btw he just came again with his car when I was writing, and that explains the outburst.

Yeah so what else to say.
Other than.
Thomas Petrou please marry me. Pls pls pls pls pls pls.
Jk
Enjoy your life with your girlfriend.

I've really gone crazy haven't I

Well I think that's enough for today. Yeah.
Now i'mma go cry and sleep.
Gn