The Diary Of A Lonely Girl By Esmeray Love

January 9 2023

Before starting anything I wanna thank some of the people with all my heart and sincerity. You'll have been there from very long and have given me immense immense support. And trust me when I say this that I love y'all. I love you people a lot. So here we go

Caththatsit
neverseen26
Asma-Mohamad
SoundofBTSworld
Eruibara2
Setsuna704
RudraAvatharam

Listen here if I've forgotten someone just forgive me all right. I'm sorry.

Ok...... so after my exam I've been feeling low. And I can't tell you how deep low.
I just don't feel worthy enough. Idk. It's my mindset or something I need to change. Idk what's wrong with me and even worse I don't have anyone else to correct me other than my mother.
My mother. She's an angel it could be an exaggeration but trust me it's not. She loves me a lot. The most in the world and I'm the worst child she could get.
She deserved someone better universe not me.
I'm this pathetic excuse for a child while she's the best person and mother out there.
I don't care about me.
But I do care about her.
It's.... She's heartbroken if I don't get something right. She says I'm gifted. And all I need to do is a little more that too for just a little more time so that she can get the respect she deserves.
Idk why I can't do what I need to but all I know is I respect her.
I've never said her this. I act all unemotional and cold hearted but I respect her. A lot.

So mumma you're never gonna read this but thanks for always being there for me, for listening shit about me from so called dad, for standing up for me against him, against everyone, teaching me maths, giving me my baby bro, for the delicious food, for the head massages, for a super super incredible maternal family, loving grandparents, my love mou, manna, for just being there.

And sorry for making fun of you, treating you like as if I'm embarrassed of you, making you prepare so much food, not teaching bro, troubling you, not listening to you, talking back to you, not giving you what you deserve, letting you cry because of me, for wishing that you were dead, for hating you, for having me as a child.

But in case I die some day I hope you find this and just know that I respect you the most and I might not love you because love is something really foreign for me but I do respect you.
You hold a very special place in my life. And thank you for that.

I will give you what you deserve. Repeatedly I promise.

I will.