The Diary Of A Lonely Girl By Esmeray Love

January 8 2023

Heyyy,
I wanna drink
I don't know from where did that thought come into my mind butttt
I WANT TO DRINK I've never drank anything in my life before that contains alcohol except apple juice of course
Hey and I've also tried Coolberg it's a non alcoholic beer brand annddd it's super tasty.

I drank it when the bitch and I went to a fest last year, it was a lot of fun. We had a concert there with these drinks in my hand. She refused to drink idk why.
Also the fact that it was my birthday no birthnight actually because we were there till like 12:30. So it basically started there but ended horrendously.

Idk why I'm telling this. Tbh I don't know what to write. All I've been doing these past 18 hours is to read Wattpad.

Listen now since people are reading this I want y'all to share an experience of your life that is very close to your heart.
Please do this.
As it is my life has become so boring I could do with some gossip.

Hey alright so I just had my pre-period cramps (y'all understand right???)
So let me just tell you my 'first period' story
I'm excited!!

So it happened when I was 10. Though I tell everyone 12 or something like that because it's soo shameful idk all the people seem to have this so late and then there I was in the 5th grade but whatever.
So one day my stomach was paining real bad not really bad but real bad.
I had had stomach aches before but this was so different I couldn't even put a finger why  it was paining. And well the torture lasted for 4 days. (I still remember)

Then it stopped.

Next day, my cousin sis and I went for a haircut. (Out of context but I had to write this. My hair was till my mid- back and I was going to have a cut till a little above shoulders. So yeah I was hella excited and I have no idea why I wasted my time typing this, sorry)

So we did not go to a saloon this time rather we went to one of our ex-neighbour's apartment (she had shifted a couple of years ago and she's super nice) Though she had just shifted very nearby yeah it was walking distance like when your legs even don't hurt.

So I wore a white pj. Yeah the universe fucking lovessssssssssssssss me.
So first sis got her hair done and then in my turn I sat. Very patiently. Trying to control my pee.
The moment I sat down I knew I had to use the washroom I waited. And when it was done aunty went to bring some snacks and I went to the washroom.

As soon as I pull down my pants. It was blood.

FUCKING BLOOD ALL OVER MY UNDERWEAR MY LEGS MY PJ'S.

My father aka the lizard had had a kidney transplant (story for another time)

And I thought that because of controlling my pee for so long my kidney had exploded.
I was so fucking worried.

Idk whether I took a pee or not.

But I went to my sis she's 13 years older than me. Don't judge.

I showed her my pants. And she was just like hide it hide it.
At that moment. All I wanted to do
WAS TO SMACK HER FACE WITH A BAT.
Because in my thinking process I was practically dying and she was telling me to hide it.

Well idk how but there were no stains anywhere in the apartment. And aunty didn't come to know it either. Honestly idk how. Because my complete white pj was now complete red, blood red.

So well we went home and she hid me behind her and sent me to the washroom gave me a pad.

Let me just tell you it is so fucking weird to let someone take your underwear, insert pad and let them place it for you near you near your vagina. Uuughhh. I just puked.

Well then they (mum and sis) must have told me about periods. I don't remember. I was quite thankful that I was still alive. But.

When I heard that this only happens to girls I so fucking wanted to sue God. Like wtf is wrong with you. I was in depression for like a month because of this but then naturally everything became normal.

At first I bled for 7 days now I hardly bleed for 2 so it's become better ofc.

That night my mum cried telling me that I was no longer a girl but a woman. And what I felt that day would be the true definition of 'weird'.

It's fine if y'all didn't enjoy the story. I had nothing to write today. But I wanted to u know. It feels really nice here. It feels home. And I just need to be here and write once in a while.

Soooo I think my mind needs some rest. And then I'll be back with the stupid me lol.

Almost 100 around something reads right.........
You insane people y'all are sooooooooooooooooooo good. Like damn damn damn good.
And last but not the least
I love y'all and I mean it with all my heart love y'all soooo much

Tc
See ya