Chapter eighteen

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"Hey son, I think we should talk

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"Hey son, I think we should talk."

Dad coming from a trip earlier, could only mean one thing.

He heard the news and he wants to talk about it too.

And right now, I just want to be left alone. Mom allowed me a one week break - she said this is the only break I would get this year.

I think me crying, fucked her up a bit and that's why she was softer on this. Grandma Kim tried reaching out but I haven't felt ready. I told her I needed a bit of time and she sort of understood... I think... it's grandma Kim no one knows what she's thinking.

I told Sunghoo that I needed a bit of time and that I'd talk to him when I was back to school. I miss him but I don't want to talk to him when I'm feeling like a mess.

I asked Mireu and Jiho to send me the work from the classes I was missing but apart from that, I was practising social distancing.

"Put on some sports gear," dad urged shaking my shoulders a bit. "Or is my son too grown now to ask me about his form?"

"I'll be right down dad."

...

"Your back kick isn't bad - you're a bit unbalanced on the jumping one. Maybe your centre of gravity is off - they say being in love will make you gain a few pounds."

"I started working out more and upped my protein... maybe I'm just getting more swole. I need to be able to lift up Sunghoo-"

What am I babbling on about?

"Your boyfriend is called Sunghoo? Your mom and I bet on who would learn his name first and I just won. Thank you son."

"Dad... I kissed a guy. I was caught on the sofa with a guy - are you not going to say anything?"

"Yes," he admitted with a blank face. "On the house I pay for, on my sofa, you were trying to get freaky? You brat," my dad chastised knocking me upside the head.

"That's what you're mad about?"

"What do you want me to be mad about? The fact that you kissed a boy or that you like a boy?"

"Dad... I'm sor-"

"Haneul don't finish that. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself if my son has to apologise for liking what he likes. I love you. I love you son. From the moment I held you, I protected you. Why would that ever change?"

"Dad... I'm not gay by the way... it's just Sunghoo."

"Your mom said he's a very cute boy so maybe that's why. You'll have to invite him over sometime," dad said pulling me in for a side hug. "Your mother keeps on complaining that on both occasions they meet, the family acted ghetto."

"Like straight from a Tyler Perry movie dad."

"Fucking hell. That boy must think we're bat shit crazy."

...

"Kim Haneul, direct yourself to the principal's office."

I have barely stepped into school, how am I in trouble already?

I haven't even seen Jiho. I haven't seen Mireu. I haven't even had the chance to find Sunghoo and I'm already being called? Plus those speakers are so loud, everyone can hear.

"Grandma Kim?"

I entered the principal's office to come face to face with my grandma Kim. I have been avoiding her and I should've known, grandma Kim gets what she wants.

"I want to see you Haneul. I think we should talk."

"Mrs Kim, I understand that you want to see Haneul but he's been gone for a week. I cannot allow-"

"Principal Jang... Haneul and I are leaving. He'll be back tomorrow. Thank you for your hard work."

...

"So... you and that boy?"

"Just say what you have to grandma-"

"That boy... how does he make you feel?"

Sunghoo?

"Everything all at once grandma," I admitted staring at my cup. "He... has an amazing vibe. I think about him before I know it. I crave him, I want him. It's almost... beyond me."

"Someone once told me that when you find someone that makes you feel everything all at once, you should hold on to them. That it is a one in a million experience."

I do feel lucky every time I hold him in my arms.

Grandma Kim cupped my hand and smiled gently at me. "Don't tell the girls but, you're my favourite... I just see so much of me in you. You know Haneul... it takes courage to be you."

"But... I made you ashamed and- am I even still a Kim? I want to make our family proud..."

"Only a Kim can walk their journey unapologetically. I have been proud of you from the moment you were born... the boy is a little bit shabby but you and I... we can fix him. We can make him look less poor."

I do agree that Sunghoo does dress a bit... pedestrian but grandma Kim is right. We can help him upgrade. His style has become way better as well, it's just a few more shopping trips now.

"Grandma... you're not against me? Great grandad-"

"Dad is dramatic," grandma rolled her eyes. "He didn't mean that, he was being ancient and strange. We have mixed Kims, a black Kim and now a gay Kim... the most up to date conglomerate. Like you always say, they can't do it like us."

How did I doubt her?

A lil ignorant but, I should've trusted she'd be on my side till the end.

Because grandma Kim has never been against me.

"I love you grandma."

"I love you way more... don't worry about dad, he's up there in age anyways."

"... grandma what does that mean?"

"It means there's a payday in the horizon sweetheart."

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