The Underground

Chapter 54: Snowed In

"Woo-wee! Woo-wee!"

I woke up to the sound of Izzy's shrill voice outside our door. I started laughing and shook Louis. "You're being paged," I said.

He woke up smiling. "Come here, big guy," he said loudly just as Izzy threw the door open and bounded into the room. Louis leaned over the side of the bed and hoisted the toddler up to sit on his belly.

Izzy started slapping Louis' belly joyfully. Louis grabbed his wrists and pulled him down so he could whisper something into his ear. Then Izzy flopped over on me, grabbing my arms and squeezing them. "Ashen!" He squealed.

"What did you tell him?" I laughed, feeling his chubby little fingers kneading at my skin.

"I told him to tickle you."

I looked at the tiny child with a crazy grin on his face, trying his hardest to tickle me, and I was swept into a bit of a mess of emotions. It was like I could totally picture our my life with Louis, looking just like this. I was still nervous about my ability to mother any child, but it was clear that Louis was a natural with children. However, I felt some sadness and I couldn't decide if it was resentment or regret. I had no memory of this kind of interaction with my parents in their bed. I wasn't allowed in their bedroom and if I woke up in the night with nightmares, my nanny would comfort me. It was Miss June when I was really little. She was Italian and I remember she had a very thick accent, but she was very loving and affectionate with me. She left when I was seven. Then my parents hired Ms. Claire. She was a gray-haired old French woman who was much less friendly than Miss June. She wasn't mean, necessarily, but she was kind of aloof. She didn't engage unless I asked her for something. If I was upset, she would give me the customary "there, there" hug, but not much more than that. She was with us until I was a teenager. So, the women who raised me were no longer in my life.

Izzy was still trying to tickle my arms, giggling as Louis poked at him. Without even thinking, I wrapped my arms around Izzy and squeezed him tightly. I closed my eyes and smiled at the feel of his warm little body enclosed in my arms.

"Having a moment?" Louis asked.

"Yeah," I said, smiling, without opening my eyes.

Carly came to the doorway a moment later and said, "There you are!" And then to us, "I'm so sorry."

"No problem," Louis said. He got up and carried Izzy to his mom. "I suppose you're always up this early," he said to Carly.

"You know it," she laughed. "I hope you don't mind, but I started a pot of coffee. Harry and I have been talking." Her face took on a pink hue as she said that.

"He seems pretty enamored," I commented, swinging my legs out of bed. Louis and I were still quite well covered by our flannels, so neither of us was feeling shy about being in our pajamas.

"He's certainly not what I expected," she said quietly. I waved her over to the sitting room off of my bedroom, and Louis took Izzy out to find out what Mimi was up to.