Diary of a teenage girl

January - February [lavishness and simplicity]

Wed. 1
A new month has begun! For 3 days, I learnt, greeted my teachers, friends, exchanged money,...

On the first day of returning to school, I received plenty of lucky money from my friends and bf and lecturers! Small though the money was, I believe that it was the true affection and benevolence of them. I was quite surprised and contented then, I kid you not. Especially, the bags which contained the money were amazingly crisp and pretty!

On the second day, exchanging money continued a bit, then came some serious study as we are, after all, ninth graders. We learnt for most of the periods, and I went to the library for reading and doing some English questions. I should mention the food, they are incredibly delicious and tasty! Idk why but I just find them great and wanna share with you guys! This day, I found out that my overall score wasn't the highest in my class. It was the day when I also found out that people around me, especially students of the "neighbor" class, are so talented and potential. That means I must try so hard if I long to pass all the exams and get my wanted results.

Today was better as I got a 9 in literature; we changed our seats within the whole classroom and I happened to be my bf's desk mate! Genuinely, the monitor of the class did wonders for us yet this circumstance can also loom sinister dangers if we are distracted from the lessons. The lessons today were really good, lightweight and easy on the ears. If only everyday was as beautiful as today!

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Thu. 2

"War can destroy life, take away all destinies, but love eternally remains"

This quote is invented by an unknown author of a reference book that my teacher showed me, and I translated it into English. I love this quote, especially the last verse "love eternally remains"

It's been a long time (perhaps a year) since the last time I was engrossed in reading and writing quotes. Idk but date back to those days, I somehow fancied doing that, and I still remember one piece of writing "bitterness is sweet". Quotes are amazing in their own way, yet I believe they are a bit abstract for some people. Nonetheless, I still respect them and if a quote hits me hard, that quote is definitely great!

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Sat. 4

today is both jubilant and sorrowful. idk but yeah...

Yesterday I lost 150 (hidden currency). It was my fault, hence, I won't pin my blame on anyone. Nonetheless, it reflected the truth that I'm not great or honorable about working with money, which is embarrassing. Now that I know my lesson and I have drawn my own conclusion from this terrible accident, I will try my best to do all the things I can in order to improve my social and life skills. After all, we don't want to lose money, and losing 150 is far better than losing several millions or billions, isn't it? When I realized the lost, I was a bit panic and didn't know what to do. I asked my friend and my bf, and my asking was wholly sensible! I told my teacher about this and I really hope that I can retrieve my lost possessions :((

Today I went to class as usual and spent 30 minutes or more embracing and chatting with my bf. I promise to you that I will not spend any more time chatting with him this weekend as today is enough! I do not object to hugging or unwinding with him, however, I cottoned on to the fact that I really had better get used to restricting my time spending with him. After all, we cannot keep our relationship goes for 5 years and then get married, right? Or at least, this notion is proved by the majority of people. Therefore, I should not rely heavily on him, otherwise, I will be down in the dumps, despondent, hopeless, and I'll cry in despair as I did with my old relationship. I know that stepping into this stuff is absolutely messy, it was similar to stepping out of the comfort zone, you know, start with someone, then brake my heart, then cry a lot, and split up in the end. I had made up my mind about this and I have to bear the consequences, no matter what. I just hope everything ends early enough or late enough, so that it doesn't afflict my studies and my exams.

Thinking about the aforementioned stuff took me a considerable amount of time, and idk but whenever I stay at home during weekends or alone, I always feel special. Perhaps I have many things going on in my mind that need arranging and classifying. Perhaps I just overthink about everything ...

Anyway, today and yesterday were both long and short. Days are in front of me, let's stay slow, run fast, keep the serenity in our heart and chase our dreams.

"trust your heart, it will give you the answer", I also believe that it will give me an answer.

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Sun. 5

Although today hasn't ended yet, I am firmly assured that I have things to say.

Today is a rather damp day. I rode my bike to my English class, wrapped around with drizzle and light rain. It was a really gloomy morning, I can tell you. But the tranquility and serenity was by far flawless. Then I had good lessons with my classmates. Idk why but this is the second time that I reflect on my Sunday lessons with joy and peace, as my classmates give me pleasure and true bliss. We seem to be different from each other, but, look! At the end of the class, we were waiting together under a small roof, watching a downpour while talking freely about whatever we loved. The scene at that time was perfectly memorable ! I just cannot describe it to you, nor can I portray each of us. I just can tell you that there were five small figures talking and remaining silent between the movements of other people, the heavy rain, between the wind and the trees. Oh dear. There will certainly be a day when I reflect on my childhood and realize that how lucky and warm I was on such an overcast day, how ineffable the day was and how tiny we were. I believe that one day, each of us will go on distinctive routes, however, I have faith in us; we'll achieve the life that we want, or at least, a normal, blissful life. I appreciate all the days we are together. Especially my lovely friend, HA, I wish you the best. I really hope that I can give you a present on your birthday, keep you company every time we hang out. Love you, indeed.