Penalty Love

Why Are You Still Here?

The following days were filled with training and me pretending to be fine. Everyone seemed to buy it except two, but unlike Beth, Vivienne didn't ask me about it, just shot me small smiles at moments which meant she knew I'd be okay. Beth, on the other hand, dragged me into a small room before closing the door.

"You are such a bad actor?" she scoffed as I took a seat at a table in the room. I didn't answer, just shot her a confused look which seemed to annoy her even more.

"Stop acting so oblivious. I know you're not fine. I'm not fine either." She lets out as she sits across from me.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked, sounding almost defeated, Beth sighed.

"I can't go around acting all gloomy. Besides, I can't think about that right now Beth, we play Chelsea in two days." I stressed the last part, it was really important to me that I did well in this game.

"I understand, but bottling up those feelings won't help." She said, waving her finger at me. I nodded because she was right. It was a lot and I'm glad I had someone to talk to.

"So seriously, what will you do?" She asked with a little glint in her eyes which meant mischief.

I shrugged and Beth jumped up and ran to my side as if she had the best idea.

"I think you should ask Leah." She said as she held my arms tight as if I was going to swing them at her.

"Are you mad?!" I almost shouted, which caused Beth to place her hand over my mouth.

"Listen, I think she'd be honest. It did sound like she got her heart broken." Beth explained but I really didn't think it would go well. After that day in the lunch room she has been avoiding me like the plague. It was in my favor, yes, but I felt even more guilty at the thought of what could have happened between her and Morgan. I didn't think approaching her was a good idea, well for right now.

After I managed to convince Beth to give it time, we made our way back to the pitch for the rest of training. Chelsea was a good team, unbeatable some may say, but as a person who played with them for years I could say otherwise. I knew their strategies and most of the game plans seeing that I was the plan most of the time. With that in mind Arsenal was feeling pretty confident for our first match of the season and so was I. I mean, my first goal in the first game would be a dream.

Training ended and we all went to recovery, some staying a little longer than others. I really wanted to go home and catch some sleep but Jonas had called for a meeting this afternoon. He was announcing the lineups and I was pretty excited. After changing into fresh clothes, I found Beth and spent the time with her and Caitlin while we waited.

The meeting was said to start in about 10 minutes, and everyone started to make their way into the room. I sat beside Beth at the end of the front row. Beside me, on the next side of the aisle was Manu and Jen but the seat at the end was empty. Looking around there was only one person who hadn't been there yet. The same girl I had been avoiding for the past three days. The door opened and Jonas walked in with Leah following behind. She made her way to the empty seat and didn't turn an eye to my side. In a way, this did bother me as I think this would be the way our relationship would be forever. Ignoring each other's presence.

While Jonas was talking I wasn't really listening. It was a problem I had but it never messed me up before so I wasn't freaking out over it. My ears did chime back when he started to announce the line up. As if I was censoring Jonas's voice in my head I only heard a few names for the starting team. There was Katie, Beth, Leah and Me. I was really happy hearing my name. Of course it was expected but exciting nonetheless. After he finished, he let Kim say a few words to us as captain. She was good at what she did, and I see why everyone loved her so much.