Penalty Love

I Needed That

LEAH'S POV

My mind probably would never be able to express how I felt about her. It was love, I was definitely serious about her. Our time together over the past years has been amazing. No one really knew as we didn’t show it but we were very close. We spent all our time together and were very close to becoming a couple. We basically were, we went on dates and called each other cute nicknames, we were even intimate. The only thing that was left was for her to be my girlfriend publicly. She said she wasn’t ready but she was my girlfriend. I didn’t mind being a couple in private. I thought we were official. Looking back, I was stupid. 

Everything changed after that game, but I realized it too late. Morgan and I started to drift apart. I didn’t know what it was, but she wouldn’t want me to hug or kiss her, she was always busy and suddenly I barely saw her outside of training. 

The last day I spoke to her with any sort of love in my heart was the day she and Alexis made their relationship official. Imagine seeing another player post that she's been dating your girlfriend for the past two months. 

Everything started to make perfect sense. Why she didn't want to be around me, why she wasn't around. I could barely move out of bed that day. The whole media were congratulating them and I had to do the same. Training was horrible for me. I didn't plan on speaking to her, if I saw her I would try my best not to break down. 

When I did see her though it felt different. I wasn't sad, seeing her face made me angry. I definitely still loved her, I still loved her today but I saw her for who she truly was. She was the one to pull me into a room and lock the door, telling me she'd like to explain. 

"I didn't want it to turn out this way." 

"How, when you've been dating two people at once?" I didn't care about our relationship but I wanted to know what made her do it.

"I tried to show you, things between us weren't working. I love Alexis." She said so bluntly. As if she truly thought she was right. I couldn't help but laugh,which left her confused.

"Does this girl even know you were in a relationship?" I asked but she didn't answer immediately. After a while she nodded, indicating a yes. I was done, of course the me back then still pleaded with her but it was no use. She was gone, and this girl she was with was just like her.

With the days that passed she seemed to grow happier, and I grew angier. With the Chelsea game coming up, I wasn't sure how I'd react when I saw Alexis. I decided that whatever happened, she deserved it. It resulted in a red card for the both of us but somehow I felt better. I couldn't afford to get more red cards but from that day, Alexis became my target. It made me more upset how she acted like she didn't know what happened or why I hated her. 

I guess you could say I never actually healed. But I didn't want to, at the time, all I wanted was for Morgan to realize she made a mistake. That never happened and this continued for almost two years.

 I was so frustrated when Arsenal announced that she'd be transferred here. At least Morgan was gone, and I didnt have to see them both. Then Morgan told us about their break up. How Alexis was selfish and only cared about herself. I was over the moon, nothing could have made me happier. But when it took a turn and Alexis told us her story, it seemed more plusable. For a moment, I thought about believing her, but ultimately I didn't care. 

It never really occurred to me that Morgan could have lied to me about Alexis knowing. Truthfully, even though I'd never say it, I was sorry. I blamed her for cheating when she was being cheated on herself. 

The pain of three years was mixed with guilt as I realized I spent all that time obsessing over a girl that cheated on me. So much so that I didn't see all her lies. 

Alexis now looked different in my eyes. She wasn't the horrible person I thought she was. She was the opposite. Everyone loved her even though she had barely been there for a month. In a way, we were similar. We had a lot of things in common. If things were different, maybe we would have been friends. 

To be honest, I wasn't going to even come here. I didn't feel like talking would help me. But I owed it to Alexis and myself. If the truth was revealed then a new peace would be placed upon us. I would be able to heal.

I needed that.

I hoped Alexis would too. And I hoped, deep down, that she'd forgive me too.

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A/N

Kinda hate this but I was rushing...I have school in an hour lol.

Seeing I'm going be at school again, chapters will be shorter so I get to upload them quicker.