The Cabin

Layla: Skip-bo

Layla

I awoke in the cabin after having a nightmare. I was in my room, but I couldn't breathe. I could feel myself splitting. A giant crack had made its home in the center of my chest. I could hear the music box struggling to chime. The song I fought to forget was making an unwanted appearance. I felt grief. Just for a moment and nothing more, the depth of my grief was profound enough to make my chest tighten. I took a moment to myself and I buried the music box again. I had to get it away from me.

The girl I once was, was trying to make an appearance and if she was ever successful, I knew that everything would fall apart. I didn't allow myself to feel grief for the girl in the box. I took a breath and simply uttered the word "survive" over and over. Slowly I added, "Do what you can to survive." I pulled my knees to my chest and held them close. Once the feeling in my chest loosened and the music box stopped turning, I said "You can ask for forgiveness later."

Normally when I got up in the morning, I made myself breakfast. Today I didn't seem to have the energy. I stayed in bed. I pulled a large section of my blanket to my chest and cuddle it. In my joints and bones, I felt achy. I didn't feel sick, but I definitely felt less than I had the day before. I had a suspicion that I would feel even less tomorrow. I was wearing clothes that I had originally brought with me. I knew these clothes and I knew how they felt on my skin. I had not the courage to try the new clothes that Mr. Williams let me buy. I ate the food that Mr. Williams gave me but I haven't quite settled into this cabin. I had been here for two weeks and yet, I still didn't feel comfortable. I wondered at what point would this cabin feel homey.

I could feel time passing around me but my body remained still. I watched as the room filled with sunlight and filled even more. Based on the sunlight I am guessing it was either late morning or early afternoon, either way, I didn't care. I would spend all day in this bed. I had no reason and no motivation to get up. I just stared at the wall. I was content with being a statue until I heard the chime. I've come to realize that the chime meant that Mr. Williams would be here soon. I was still upset with him because of his last trip here. Mr. Williams drugged me and I couldn't forgive him for that. I knew how to stay quiet, but Mr. Williams didn't trust me. Mr. Williams is asking me to trust him, but he is not allowing me to ask the same.

A few minutes must have passed because Mr. Williams's voice snapped me back. "Layla, Love?" I heard him call out. I didn't move. "Would you please join me in the kitchen? We have much to discuss and I have a treat for you." Mr. Williams continued. I sat up in bed and felt disgusted. A treat? Like for a dog? If I came down would he call me a "good girl?" I was repulsed by this made-up scenario and found the motivation to get out of bed. I changed my clothes and brushed my hair. I walked down a few steps and looked out the large window in front of me. I saw the woods around me glow. Frost covered the branches and in turn, the frost reflected the sunlight. The view outside was breathtaking, but I pushed on. I got to the bottom of my stairs and I could smell the grease. I slid my door open and saw that Mr. Williams was practically staring at me and the door I moved. As soon as Mr. Williams took notice of me taking notice of him, he turned his gaze elsewhere.

I moved slowly and cautiously over to the kitchen. Mr. Williams looked up at me with sorrow in his eyes. I kept a decent distance away from Mr. Williams and I waited for him to explain. "Layla, I would like to start by saying that I know I messed up. I decided against your wishes and had no regard for how it would affect you." I waited for him to continue because I had a feeling he was not done. "Layla, I am sorry for all that I have done. I chose this for you, I chose to act according to my thoughts and wishes. I have achieved what I thought was going to be perfect and yet and feel terrible for what I have put you through. I have decided to isolate you and I have decided to continue this isolation in hopes that one day we could..." Mr. Williams trailed off.