Lava | Ninjago

🜂 | the stinging kiss of disinfection

 He stared at the face that haunted every single moment of his very own existence. A face, which he watched change and grow. What used to be a blank canvas was now a messy painting filled with small scars, some more visible than others. He stared at the frown he felt scrunching up his face. God, how he hated that sight. He hated seeing how the years changed him, how much it all affected him, how much he lost himself.

Stupid mirrors, reminding you of what you've become. And Kai absolutely despised what he became throughout the years.

He hated his parents, whose faces he could barely recall anymore, for leaving him and his sister in such a situation. He hated the guy, the stupid Master Wu who took advantage of it. If it wasn't for him, maybe he could handle looking at himself in the mirror without feeling burning rage spreading through his insides.

And the worst thing was that the old man didn't just make him do the dirty work, no, he didn't have enough, he just had to employ Lloyd and Nya as well. Wu didn't care how old they were, or how dangerous such life is, he didn't care he had enough workers already. No, he just had to make them join his force too. He didn't even let Kai know, it was a pure coincidence he found out. It was because Lloyd was too young to do this, too inexperienced which led to Kai finding out how they spent their time. Both his sibling were skipping school – which Kai worked so hard to afford – to do the same mistake he did. And Wu didn't bat an eye, of course.

Trembling, he clutched the sink with both his hands, breathing deeply to calm himself down again. He was standing there for so long, staring into his own furious and broken eyes, that he completely forgot the reason he found himself in the bathroom in the first place. Kai closed his eyes and focused on the sound of his own breath. Nya once told him it might help and despite all the futile attempts, he still kept trying this method to calm down.

Nya. His little sister that got tangled up in the same life he did. Kai felt as if he let her down. No, he knew he let her down. He promised himself she would be protected at all costs. And Lloyd, the poor boy, he went through so much as well and Kai swore to him he would be safe now.

There was no denying it. Kai Smith was a fucking failure.

His eyes snapped open and staring into his own furious face he punched the mirror. The glass cracked, and some of the shards fell into the sink. There were red droplets falling like a weak spring shower, mixing with the clear water and the pieces of mirror that reflected it all.

Kai thought he was too angry to focus on the pain and yet he still hissed and clutched his damaged fist close to his chest with the other hand.

"Fuck," he exclaimed. This wasn't the first time he destroyed a mirror with his bare hands and he kept doing it over and over, every single time forgetting the pain that followed such a stunt. And it wasn't just the cuts stinging, he felt the tears in his eyes too.

"Kai? Are you all right in there?"

"Shit." Cole's presence was absolutely forgotten until now. Of course, that's why he was in the bathroom, he came here to wash his hands before dinner.

"I'm fine," he choked out. Waiting too long to answer would make Cole suspicious and as far as Kai knew, no one has seen him cry before. Cole wasn't going to be an exception. Not now, not ever.

"You sure?" Cole pried further.

"Yes!" Kai yelled, groaning in pain. "I'm sure!" Still, the stubborn guy had to open the door and peek in. Kai was quick to react. Turning away from the door, he said through his gritted teeth, "I told you I'm fine."

"I heard a crash and you sounded hurt, Kai, I had to check on you." He held back the tears begging to be set free.

"Well, you did, so you can go now." Of course he didn't listen. Cole walked in, closing the door behind himself, and observed the sink filled with mirror shards and blood.