🜂 | recrudescence (you can never run away)

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[part three to the kai-hallucinates-the-shit-out-of-cole duology (now a trilogy). theres a lot to explore...
oh i should probably also let you know that i recently talked with a friend about hotwireshipping and i guess it has some influence on me now lol, vive la multishipping!]

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A hand intertwined its fingers with his. He felt like he just had the worst sleep ever.

“I'm here, Kai, it's okay now.” He knew to whom that comforting voice belonged he just couldn't tell if it belonged to his Cole or his Cole.

“I'm here.”

And he cried because he couldn't see in his eyes what he should see.

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Days passed and turned into weeks. Cole and Pixal barely left his side, usually switching so the other could get some rest. However, Cole was more adamant about staying with Kai and resulted to sleep in the worst positions just so he can be there for every breath Kai takes and for every single shift of his body.

The others kept coming to check up on him, bringing him something to eat, to drink, or some recap of what was going on outside the med bay.

And when they were alone, Cole told him everything. About how Pixal figured he wasn't taking the medication and he didn't drink as she advised him, how they spent hours together in the lab to figure out how to help him, how Cole began putting the meds in his food. He didn't have to tell Kai he regretted that the most, he could see it in his eyes. Cole was often quick to beat himself up over every hiccup, every mistake and now he was blaming himself for lying to Kai and almost causing him to die.

Apparently, whatever he inhaled and got stuck in his lungs had strong will to stay there and finish whatever it started. So when the medication worked how it should and the black substance was in danger of dissolving, it turned lethal. Some sort of a self-destruct mode.

Now it was supposed to be gone, out of his system, and Kai should be free. But he certainly didn't feel like so.

However, he did dare to open up. Mostly to Pixal but he was aware she told Cole what she deemed important. It was better this way because he couldn't look into Cole's eyes and admit that he fell for a hallucination of him because he was already head over heels for him.

He didn't say anything about the others.

To them it must've seem that the substance took advance of his feelings towards Cole and tried to twist them. And despite being free of its chains, Kai still heard the words it seeped into his mind. There was no doubt they were his. He felt all those things it said so many times he just always avoided it, ignored it. Deep, deep down there was a locked chamber and inside it was the beaten up version of him that felt like a burden. He locked it there and pretended everything was fine because it was easy.

At least he thought so.

And now, whatever it was, it unlocked the door, and all his failures came crawling back up and time was running out. He knew he was close to breaking. Something he managed to avoid for years was now at risk of destroying everything.

Kai was afraid when the day will come. When everything will get spilled and he will have to face everyone once they hear what he himself pretended wasn't there.

Still, he couldn't stop wondering what was going to happen to him. Was it going to get him killed? Was the fake Cole trying to lead him across the river? Or was it something else? Who was the family? Who was he going to meet?

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