Aku selalu ada || Abdul Kahar

Kental

2004(Kahar form 3):
(A few months since first hang out.)

"EH KAU PEHAL SIAL!" Mamat anger issue tu jerkah aku. Malam-malam nak memekik.

"Kau la apa kes. Alis ni memang tak nak kat kau yang kau nak menyalak macam anjing ni kenapa?" Aku jeling dia and tanya. Mamat ni memang dah lama menyemakkan kepala aku.

"KAU MEMANG NAK KENA EH!" Dia sambung jerit and shove aku. Kahar yang berdiri sebelah aku tahan aku dari jatuh. He turned to look at me and places his arm behind me as reassurance.

"Eh apa tolak-tolak ni?" Kahar asked with a defensive tone.

"Kau DIAM LA mamat, kau takde kaitan, muka macam sial!" Mamat anger issue tu jerit and shove Kahar. "Tak payah buat hero depan awek kau!" Dia sambung jerit.

"Kau ni-"

Mamat anger issues tu tumbuk Kahar.

I punched the guy to his stomach as hard as I can. He crouched down to clutch as his stomach. "Ha tu makan dia. Memang buat hal la kau ni Haikal." I said and kicked the guy before turning to Kahar.

"Kau ok?" I asked him. Kahar looked at me in awe and took my hand. "Tak sakit ke?" He asked.

I smiled. "Dah biasa. Muka sakit ke?" I asked him.
"Sikit je."

I sighed and turned around. "Buat hal lagi Haikal, arwah kau kang."

I pulled Kahar to the canteen and asked for a pack of ice. "Letak dekat muka."

Kahar geleng. "Malam sejuk, letak ais sejuk lagi, taknak." Budak ni haish.

"Kau nak manja ngan aku an?"

Kahar gelak tapi angguk. "Letak ais dekat muka dulu, aku gi beli air kita lepak spot biasa jom?"

Kahar angguk and put the ice on his face and followed me to the vending machine.

Once we're at the bench he handed me the pack of ice. "Manja lebih malam ni. Napa?" I jokingly asked and hold the ice to his face once he lied his head on my lap.

"Kau taknak cerita ka?" Kahar tanya. Somehow the night felt silent. I knew exactly what he meant but I decided to play dumb.

"Cerita apa?"

Kahar looked sorry for whatever reason. "Ayah kau."

I hummed and looked up to the sky. "Ayah aku masuk penjara? Memang salah dia la, jual barang boleh kantoi."

"Tapi dia ayah kau."

I sighed. I looked down to him, ice pack still in my hand and the other was playing with his hair. "Aku faham. Bukak gym underground macam tu duit tak banyak pon, tapi, dia sendiri ajar aku, buat kerja biar clean. Salah dia ah."

"Kau tak rindu dia?"

"Kau rindu bapak kau?"

Kahar terdiam. "Aku takut rindu kau." Dia cakap. "Aku ada ja."

Kahar bangun dan duduk sebelah aku. "Sekarang. Sekarang kau ada. Nanti? Kem habis lagi berapa bulan. Aku takut hilang kau."

I looked at him. He looked distressed. Aku tak suka.

"I'll never forget you, Kahar."

Kahar hummed and laid his head in my lap again.
I could tell he was thinking. "Aku nak tanya pasal kem. Boleh?"

I hummed and nodded. "Kenapa kau masuk kem? Aku tengok kau kuat, kental. Tadi sikit punya kuat tumbuk orang. Kenapa?"

I sighed and looked at him. "Kau nampak lengan aku kan?"

Kahar nodded. "Aku tak judge kau." Obviously referring to my scars, he answered.

"Tahu, tapi tu lah, aku tak heran dengan orang luar. Tapi.."

Kahar held my hand, the one that was holding the ice pack. "Kalau tak nak cerita don't force yourself."

Aku usap tangan dia.

"Tapi musuh aku dalam kepala. Aku penat hidup. Bapak macam tu, mak lari, sapa je aku ada."

That stole his attention. "Aku. Kau ada aku."

I hummed. "Kau ada aku sampai kau dah taknak aku. Okay?" Kahar jawab hoping that I will say something but really I don't know what to say.

Kahar sat up again. He held both my hands in his and looked at me as if I will vanish at any second. "Jadi girlfriend aku?" Kahar tanya.
I smiled a little. "Walaupun aku macam ni?"
He nodded.
I smiled.
"Ok."