The night went so well
How did I end up crying?
We fought again
I don't even remember why.
I know that one second
Everything was fine
Then the next second
Your knife was at my throat.
You told me to do as you said.
The voices in my head
Told me to fight back.
But your blade drew my blood
And I was scared.
I complied with your demands
I let you use me.
For this I can't forgive myself.
It wasn't my fault
But still I could've done more.
More for myself.
I let you use me over and over.
I kept running back and forth
As if you were all I had.
I couldn't see past your shadow
The shadow over my heart.
You beat me down mentally
You used my emotions against me.
But the nights I was most alone,
You were all I had.
So I let you use me over and over.
For this I'll always hate myself.
But not you.
Never you.
For you I can do nothing but love.
Despite it all, I miss you.
I miss the easy talks.
I miss the arguments
I miss your toxic love.
So I wait for you forever,
To use me again.
YOU ARE READING
Poems for the Mentally Damaged
Poetrya collection of poems I'm constantly working on. For those who know the suffering of mental health issues and those who humor my simple way of coping which is of course to write more poems to relate to from my darkest and saddest to the hopes of a y...
