To my mother, I wish you had been there.
To my father, I wish you didn't abandon me.
To my grandparents I'm sorry and I love you.
To my brothers I'm sorry I wasn't there when our stepdad was beating on you, I'll never forgive myself.
To my sisters, I'm sorry for the trauma you endured.
To my lovers, I'm sorry for the pain I inflicted upon you when I was trying to fix myself.
To my children, a million things to say, but know that I love you more than the entire world and you're the only reason I've hung on for this long.
To my friends... it's been a long adventure, hasn't it? Sorry that I'm ending my path prematurely.
To the world, fuck you. You're cruel you're dark, you're suffering I wouldn't wish on anyone. You're a black hole of pity and uncaring ideals. You're darkness within the dark. You're mean-spirited, you're chaotic, and you're demeaning.
I sit here with a million ideas whirling through my mind. A gun would be quick and likely easiest, but there's a chance of survival that I couldn't bear. A knife bears the same problem. Pills never seem to work, and I've tried to overdose on every drug imaginable. Always back I come to this desolate wasteland of my heart.
I have yet to find the perfect way to end it all, but one day I will.
Until then I sit here, cold, hollow; empty. Scarcely a day goes by that I don't wish death upon myself.
YOU ARE READING
Poems for the Mentally Damaged
Poetrya collection of poems I'm constantly working on. For those who know the suffering of mental health issues and those who humor my simple way of coping which is of course to write more poems to relate to from my darkest and saddest to the hopes of a y...
