Heartland FanFic

Part 15 - Letters

Dear Lyndy,
I'm sorry that I left, especially since it's so soon after Amy passed away, but I wasn't good enough to be your dad. That might sound like a very lame excuse, but it's the truth. I don't know what story Jack and Tim told you, whether it was the truth or not, but I want to tell you my side. When Amy died, it felt like my whole world had been destroyed. I didn't drink much before any of it happened, but I know people who did drink, and they seemed to get away from their problems by drinking. I know that drinking was never the answer, because it took me away from Heartland, but Lyndy, I was becoming violent. I might not have been hitting things then and there, but even in my drunk-ass state, I knew I was going down that path. I'm sober now, as I write this, but I don't know how long I'll stay sober. I will try, Lyndy, but you know that it's going to be a long time before I'm sober enough to go back to Heartland and see you. I have to go now, but I'll write again soon. I love you.
Daddy

Dear Lyndy,
Happy birthday Honey, I hope Lisa and Lou spoil you since it's your first without your Mommy or me. I really would love to be there with you, but I'm sure Jack and Tim are not too impressed with me leaving, and I don't blame them. I really miss you, and I'm sorry I can't do better for you. I'm staying with Nana, she's been asking for you. We're both trying to get sober, she relapsed a few weeks ago. I know your too young to understand any of this but I have a feeling Jack won't let you see these just yet. I'll be back soon Lyndy, I'll pull myself together and I'll be back and we can be a family again. I'll be there in the morning and to collect you from school and I can read you bedtime stories. It'll be like old times. I've got to go now, but I'll write again soon. I love you.
Daddy

Dear Lyndy,
I know I've been gone for a few years now, and I know that your eight now and probably don't remember much about me, but I'm glad you didn't have to grow up in the same house as an alcoholic. I know Jack and Lisa and Lou and Tim and everybody else are going to take great care of you. While I do wish I was there, with you at Heartland, I'm still not better. I've made the decision to go to a rehab clinic and get better that way. I know that I promised to be back soon, but I want to go back to you when I'm back to normal, not half normal or quarter normal, fully normal. I want to be able to ignore the urge to drink and I don't want to relapse while with you. Rehab is the best option. Nana is in a rehab centre too, she's doing really well. I wish I could go and see you before checking in, but it would make it so much harder to leave you again, knowing that I was so close to normal life. I'm sorry I couldn't be with you on Mommy's anniversary or birthday, but I trust the the whole family rallied around you and gave you the best support possible. I have to go now, but I'll write as soon and as much as I can. I love you so much, Lyndy, and I know what I've done is unforgettable and probably unforgivable, but I hope one day you can forgive me. I'm so proud of the girl you are, whether it's helping Georgie to train horses or going shopping with your friends. I love you so much, no matter what.
Dad.

Dear Lyndy,
Happy 10th Birthday Honey! You're growing up so fast! I'm sorry for not writing sooner, the rehab centre was very strict about that. They were very helpful though. I'm going back to Calgary next month, for work. I'll be in Hudson if you're interested in meeting up? I understand that you don't really know me, and that it's been seven years since I've been back, but if you do want to meet, you could send me a letter back? I won't be offended if you don't want to meet, I deserve that, and I know that you might not even be reading these letters anymore. I miss you so much, Lyndy, and I'm sorry that I missed you growing up, and that I'm only in town for a few days. I hope you do decide to come, but I'll understand if you don't. I' love you so much.
Dad

Dear Lyndy,
So you didn't send me a letter back, which means you don't want to see me, which I fully understand. I didn't write to you because I wanted to make you feel bad, I'm writing to you so I can give you the birthday present I was hoping to give to you if we met up. It's not nearly enough to make up for all the years I've missed, and nothing is ever going to make up for them. I'm hoping to move back to Hudson soon, but my job here in Nashville is high paying and I've built a life for me here. I will be back in Hudson eventually and then we can be a family again, but for now, being here is good for me, because being here means that I can't hurt you anymore. Im so sorry, Lyndy, for not being the father you deserve or the husband that Amy married, but once I can move to Hudson and be financially stable, buy a house and find a job, I'll come and find you. I promise.
Dad.

Author's Note
Hey everyone! Thank you so much for sticking with me despite not posting too much! The first chapter has nearly 100 reads alone so that makes me super happy haha. I also kinda have to thank @GeraldBarousse for getting my butt back into action! Anyway, thanks to everyone who has read/liked/commented/added this to their library/followed me, it means sooo much to me 🫶 If you want to see anything in particular in this story, let me know and I'll add it in and give you credit, don't worry, I'm not a credit stealing haha! Thanks for reading.
~ Ashton 🫶