𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙣

𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚

Saturn
• • •

The train ride to London was less than an hour long, but still, Calvin could not seem to stay awake. His eyes fluttered shut as I told him stories from while he was away. When I noticed, I shut up in an attempt to let him sleep. He did not. Instead, he distracted himself by staring out the window, playing with my hair, and stroking my hand with his thumb. I couldn't complain.

After a day of exploring the city, Calvin brought me to a hotel. I had been skeptical of this idea ever since he'd asked me to pack a bag back at Kenton. I had never enjoyed sleeping in foreign places.

"Here we are," Calvin said, arriving at room number 114. He scanned the keycard. I saw the room. There was only one bed.

"One bed?" I asked softly, glancing at him anxiously.

Calvin set down the mass of bags we'd accumulated on our shopping trip. "Would you be more comfortable with two?" he asked.

I shook my head. I had slept in the same bed as Calvin before, although it had been unintentional. I could do it again. And besides, I wouldn't be sleeping much tonight anyway. Still, I wondered what Calvin's true intent for the evening was.

He did not speak to me again while we got ready for bed, when I changed into the new night dress he had bought for me, or when I pressed a kiss to his cheek. I was shocked. I'd assumed that he'd want to have some fun tonight or speak to me at the very least.

Feeling strange about Calvin's behaviour, I pulled my book from the front pocket of my bag. Even with him back, something didn't feel quite right. I needed the comfort of The Stars Weep With Us.

"Can you turn the light out, Saturn?" Calvin asked after a few moments of me reading. I glanced over. His eyes were closed.

"I'm reading," I replied softly, "I need it on."

"Well, I'm fucking exhausted," Calvin opened his eyes, frustration crossing his expression, "please turn it off. I need to sleep."

I frowned. I set aside the only thing keeping me calm and flicked the lamp off. I folded my arms over my chest, staring at the blank wall across from the bed.

"Are you alright?"

I ignored him.

"Answer me," he persisted.

"I thought you needed to sleep," I said, my attitude swelling, "don't let me stop you."

Calvin sat up next to me. "Darling, I can't sleep knowing you aren't alright."

I ducked my head. I didn't want to cry in front of him again.

"Talk to me," Calvin urged, playing with a lock of my hair.

I sighed. "I can't sleep in new places."

Calvin's head cocked to the side. "Why's that?"

I shrugged. "I've always been that way."

"Can I make you feel more at home?"

His offer was a sweet one, but it was not possible. I would need to stick tonight out, awake. When I failed to respond for the second time, Calvin took matters into his own hands.

"Lay down, Saturn."

I complied. He rolled over to look at me. "I apologize for how I've acted this evening," Calvin murmured, "it was never my intention to hurt you or to make you feel uncomfortable. All I have ever wanted is to be my best for you. But sometimes it is hard for me to control my anger. You know that."

I nodded. Ever since I'd met Calvin, I'd had to watch him get cross with me, then instantly regret it. I knew there was something more contributing to his behaviour, but I could not pinpoint exactly what.

"It has been the longest two weeks of my life, Saturn," Calvin said, resting his palm against my cheek, "I cannot even begin to express to you how happy it makes me to see you again. What can I do to help you feel the same?"

"I do feel the same," I assured him, "just go to sleep, Calvin. I know you're tired."

"No."

His response was so simple, but it perplexed me. I was telling him that I would be perfectly happy if he went to sleep, but yet, he would not.

"I promised I would make you feel more at home," Calvin elaborated, "so let me." He slowly moved his body on top of mine. My insides clenched. I wrapped my legs around his waist eagerly. This was exactly what I needed. He was what I needed.

Calvin slid his hand up my inner thigh. "No underwear?" he murmured, "you're not so innocent anymore, are you princess?"

Princess. That was a new one. Calvin could see how much I liked it based on the red hue it coloured my cheeks with.

"I'm not a princess," I said softly. I didn't deserve such a title, but that didn't mean I wished for him to stop using it.

"Oh, yes you are," Calvin cooed, "you're my princess. And I'm going to prove it to you."

Slowly, he entered me. Jesus, Calvin.

I supposed I'd finally discovered a means of staying in the hotel overnight, being loved to sleep by the boy I loved.