𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙣

𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓

Calvin
• • •

Saturn was in shambles.

She had been disoriented ever since my return, but today was a whole other level. First, she had gone in for a shift at the shop before I'd awoken, a shift that she did not have today.

Then, there was the zoning out. It was not unusual for Saturn's mind to be in the clouds, but something about me returning to Kenton had made it spiral out of control. After Alice had sent her back to me for her day off, I began to notice it. I would be talking for several moments only to realize that Saturn wasn't listening. Not only was she not listening, but she wasn't even present. Physically, she was there with me, but mentally, she was in some other fantastical world.

One other thing? The only times she spoke, Saturn brought up my letter. While I was away, I sent her a long letter detailing each one of my struggles. As soon as I had handed it over to Eric, the bus driver, I regretted so much as writing such a letter. It was so, so selfish of me to pour my pain onto Saturn's shoulders. And apparently, it had affected her even more gravely than I worried it might. She couldn't help but halt our conversations to ensure that I wasn't in danger on my trips away, or that I was eating enough, or that she thought I should explain to her 'what this really was about'. Of course, I would not. I did not need to burden Saturn any more than I already had.

"Do you want to come to Tom and Darius's rugby match with me?" I asked Saturn later that afternoon.

Saturn's eyes didn't leave the pages of her book. That damned book. The Stars Weep With Us. I was tempted to burn it to stop Saturn from basking in her own misery.

I went to her and pulled the book out of her line of vision. She finally made eye contact with me. "I asked you a question," I said, more firmly than I'd intended to, "I expect an answer."

"Sorry," Saturn mumbled, "I was distracted."

I nodded. She was far too distracted today.

"What did you need?" she asked, looking as though she would very much like to get back to her reading.

"I asked if you'd like to come watch Tom and Darius's rugby match with me," I repeated, "it's the last game in their tournament, the finals. I will be going to watch. You can choose whether to join me or not. It seems you're quite busy here."

Saturn shook her head defensively. "I'm not busy," she said, "I want to come with you."

"Lovely," I said, trying to remain civil with her. It was difficult to keep the old, stern Calvin at bay when Saturn was acting this way. The worst part was that I knew that her distraction was my fault.

"What time do they play?" Saturn asked.

I checked my watch. "In about half an hour," I replied, "come to my room once you're ready."

"Okay," Saturn said, picking up her book once more. I had a feeling she wasn't going to be getting ready for the match once I left.

When I got to my room, I was disappointed to discover that Tom and Darius had both already left. I hoped to wish them luck before their departure. Oh well, perhaps it was for the best. I needed to hurry, as I would surely have to go retrieve Saturn when she inevitably forgot to meet me at my room. When I left to go get her, however, I was met with a nice surprise. Saturn took my hand, and off we went.

The rugby field was on campus, so we walked there in total silence. Saturn was buried in thought, and that was okay for now. I didn't want to disturb whatever was on her mind, not yet at least. Right now, I was at the match for my friends, and I knew Saturn was too.