Capturing My Demon King Costar

MY COSTAR BLAMES HIMSELF

Yao Shen goes very still, holding in a breath until his throat starts itching.

Xin Hulei's words aren't an admission of guilt, but they aren't the clean and easy 'no' Yao Shen was hoping for.

He lets out the breath suffocating him, and clears his throat to get rid of the itch. "What do you mean?"

"That I invited death upon them," he says. His eyes seem even darker in the half gloom of dawn.

"But you didn't kill them?" Yao Shen asks, trying to get a clearer picture of what must have happened.

"Is there a difference?" Xin Hulei asks, and the most harrowing thing for Yao Shen is that he seems to genuinely not know. "If someone's intentions are good, but the consequences disastrous, should they be praised for a beautiful bloodbath?"

Yao Shen hides his face on the pillow with a muffled groan. "That's...more moral quandary than I can stomach this early in the morning."

Xin Hulei let's out a wry chuckle, and Yao Shen feels better for that at least.

"I'll say this though," Yao Shen starts, returning Xin Hulei's earlier tenderness and combing his fingers through the messy strands of his hair, "I think if you didn't want them dead, and did nothing deliberate to bring about their death, then you're not at fault."

Xin Hulei falls silent, seemingly digesting Yao Shen's words.

"Did you want to kill them?" Yao Shen asks, rewording his earlier question.

"No," Xin Hulei replies without hesitation. "But perhaps they wouldn't have died if I hadn't tried to save them."

Yao Shen wraps one arm around his neck and brings their noses together. "If that made you guilty, then all the dramas on streaming would be about vicious mass murderers."

Xin Hulei warps his arm around Yao Shen's waist and tangles their legs together. "Are you so sure they aren't?"

In lieu of an answer, Yao Shen kisses him to shut him up.

He's relieved that even through such a shocking revelations, the mental image he has of Xin Hulei remains unspoiled.

It's hard to imagine that just a few short months ago he thought he was an arrogant asshole.

Well, he can still be an asshole sometimes, the only difference is that now Yao Shen finds it charming.

"What happened exactly?" Yao Shen asks, aware that Xin Hulei might choose not to answer.

One corner of Xin Hulei's lips rises in another of those self-deprecating smirks that makes Yao Shen's chest constrict painfully. "I trusted the wrong person."

A cold, freezing dread snakes down Yao Shen's spine. "Do you mean the guy who looks like me?"

Almost imperceptibly, Xin Hulei nods.

Yao Shen extricates himself from Xin Hulei's embrace and jumps out of bed. "I can't sleep anymore, might as well get up and shower."

It's ironic that Yao Shen was so determined to rid Xin Hulei of his guilt just minutes ago, and now he's suffocating on his own.

---

Showering doesn't help Yao Shen feel any better about his turbulent emotions, and he's distant with Xin Hulei all through breakfast.

He has no memory of his life as a ghost king, how is he supposed to know if he did something to hurt Yan Shuyi and Xie Huan?

It's not out of the realm of possibility that the other ghost kings could have set him to it.