Capturing My Demon King Costar

MY COSTAR WILL NEVER KNOW ANY OF THIS

Yao Shen wakes up with a start. His pillow and the front of his shirt are stained with tears.

He doesn't know how long he's been asleep, but the day hasn't yet gone dark outside the bedroom's window.

If he strains his ears he can make out of the sounds of Xin Hulei pacing back and forth in the living room.

If he sees the state Yao Shen is in now, he might want to intervene, either join Yao Shen's dreams, or stop Yao Shen from going forward with it.

He doesn't want Xin Hulei to suffer any more of this. He doesn't want him to see everything else Si Wang has put him through.

Yao Shen needs to know, though.

His curiosity is like a living thing -- eating at him from the inside.

He needs to know what else happened.

He pours another memory into the incense burner and goes back to sleep, falling back into its warm clutches without any conscious effort on his part.

---

This time around, Yao Shen notices something immediately different about the memories he's experiencing.

This version of him leads a happy carefree life as the pampered son of a rich minister. He's happy, bright, surrounded by friends and loving relatives -- until one day, his memories return.

All at once, like a terrible nightmare he can't wake up from.

His idyllic life disappears in the snap of fingers. He can no longer return to his careless existence, nor fulfil his parent's wishes and take the civil servant exam, follow his father into the court as an official.

He's haunted by what he remembers as the Crown Prince. Once, he even tries to look for Xin Hulei, following his last steps to a troupe of wandering performers before his father's men drag him back.

He's whipped for his insolence and callous behaviour, and then fed medicine to try and heal him from the 'diseases of the mind' that have taken over him.

His life becomes a living hell, his loving family dissolves around him like soap bubbles on a stream. Yet, the fire inside him rages on -- he wants to find Xin Hulei, warn him of the threat that Si Wang poses.

Until one day he hears Si Wang's voice in the back of his head, cold and calculating, telling him to stop running from him.

"You'll never be able to run away from me," he hisses into Yao Shen's mind, like a threat and a promise. "Give up now. I'll tell you where he is if you come back to me."

The price of memory, is of course that Yao Shen knows too much to ever trust Si Wang again.

That very night, Yao Shen puts all his affairs in order. He writes a letter to his relatives, and a another to himself, which he seals off.

He hangs himself on one of the branches of a willow tree, under whose shade he used to play as a carefree child.

---

Yao Shen wakes up in tears again. He has two more vials to go. This is becoming harder and harder, he doesn't know if he has it in himself to push through.

The lonely image of those two versions of himself, diligently writing down their thoughts, fears, and the jumbled lifetimes that live inside their minds strengthen his resolve -- he owes it to himself, and to them.

When he next wakes up he's looking at the painting of a familiar face, and he's the one holding the brush.

This Yao Shen is a famous painter, held in high regard by the Emperor, and has been commissioned by him many times over.