MY COSTAR LOVES ME TOO

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The scene dissolves around them, replaced by another where a blind Xin Hulei tries to get his bearings around the small cabin, while the Crown Prince helps him around.

It's obvious Xin Hulei has no idea that he isn't his Shizun.

Yao Shen looks up into the eyes of the Xin Hulei standing next to him, and is almost scared by what he finds there.

"You never knew?" Yao Shen asks, his voice small and tinged with guilt.

It seems he's doomed to keep secrets from Xin Hulei -- even in a past life.

Xin Hulei shakes his head. "Never...I," he swallows drily. "I've always thought it was Shizun who took care of me during those days."

A beat of silence.

"I always treasured the memory of that time."

"I'm sorry," Yao Shen says, riddled with guilt, now.

A small smile curls on the corner of Xin Hulei's lips. "Don't be." He looks down into Yao Shen's eyes, and some of the pain is replaced by tenderness. "It seems that the one I loved has always been you."

Yao Shen sucks in a shuddering breath, his blood thrumming in his ears.

Xin Hulei points out at the scene, where the Crown Prince helps Xin Hulei dice vegetables. "I realised I was in love with Yan Shuyi after this." He shakes his head. "No one had ever showed me so much attention, so much care and tenderness. In my lowest moment, when I couldn't even see the world around me, there was still a bright, warm light showing me the way." He sighs. "How could I have not loved him?"

Yao Shen closes his eyes, letting the words wash over him, and willing them not to hurt him.

A warm hand closes over the back of his neck. "How could I not love you?" Xin Hulei asks, his voice low and warm, a smoky rumble that makes Yao Shen shiver.

When he next opens his eyes, he's already being pulled into a kiss. Xin Hulei's soft lips descending over his with infinite tenderness.

It's Yao Shen who breaks the kiss first, flustered by the presence of other people -- even if they are essentially themselves, and can't see them.

"I love you too," he says, his eyes lowered in embarrassment. "I have...for some time."

It vexes Yao Shen, how much easier it is to beg shamelessly in the throes of passion, than to admit his feelings. Outside the little cabin the snow keeps falling, and the atmosphere is at once intimate and cosy.

Xin Hulei draws him into his chest. "I think fate is playing tricks on us."

Yao Shen returns the hug, looping his arms under Xin Hulei's, circling his back. "Such a twisted road," he sighs, mourning all the ways things could have been easier for both of them. "But it got us here in the end."

Xin Hulei drops a soft kiss on the top of his hair.

In the memory, Xin Hulei and the Crown Prince are cooking together. Mostly, Xin Hulei is cooking and the Crown Prince is making sure he doesn't hurt himself.

With all the misunderstandings out of the way, Yao Shen watches the scene play out with a lighter heart.

He can see from the Crown Prince's smile how much he appreciates this quiet respite from the harshness of war.

In this small, weather beaten cabin, both of them found the balm for the wounds in their souls. Yao Shen tries to be generous with his previous self, and not begrudge him this meeting.

Seeing it happen isn't the same as remembering. Yao Shen is afraid Si Wang took that from him, when he used the memory on the moving lantern.

He tries to take some solace that at least this way Xin Hulei gets to experience everything with him.

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