Your lips my lips, Apocalypse (Lapril)

Wrong State Of Mind

"Well let's get to work!" April says with a elated expression. Ryan's scans in one hand and a mocha latte in the other. I follow her to the research library on the third floor which she effortlessly puts the code in for.

"How do you know the code? You've only been here for a month? It took me my whole intern year to learn it."

"Mer gave it to me when I mentioned I wanted to get some studying in, you know, for my oral boards."

"You're a third year?"

"You can never be too sure can you." She opens the door to the library. The smell of old medical textbooks and wood hits me. I love the research library so much. It's my favorite place to go when I want to escape all the hospital drama. Or annoying red heads who won't leave me alone. "We should start over in the neurology section." She says cheerfully before grabbing my hand and rushing me over.

I start looking through the shelves filled with textbooks and research papers dating back to the 19th century.

"JACKPOT!" April squeals, "Medical mystery's of the brain!"

"Ok ok let's start reading it." I say trying to get her to quiet down. She sits down in front of a bookcase and pulls me down onto the thin blue carpet.

"I just love the library! Don't you?" She says beginning to read the table of contents.

"Yeah, I love how quiet they are." She looks up at me awkwardly then returns her eyes back to the contents.

After an hour of reading April has inched closer and closer to me that she is now laying her head on my shoulder with her ginger hair falling down my back. I feel my eyes get heavy, as I've been working a 24 hour shift and haven't slept since 6am yesterday. I lay my head on top of hers and she nuzzles her head into my neck.

We're awoken to the sound of her pager going off. We both look at it with heavy eyes. Trauma.

"Race you there?" I say standing up and offering a hand to the competition.

"Yes!" She says interlocking my hand to pull herself up. We race down to the ER, dodging nurses and doctors. We make it through the doors and help each other tie our trauma gowns. We both run up to Dr Hunt, laughing and pushing each other to get there first.

"You two  seem close." Owen points out. "Didn't you say you we're gonna to run her down with your car?" He says with a chuckle.

I smirk at April who's already giggling.

"I'm over it." I say, smiling at Owen. I don't know why I said that. I hate April. She's annoying and perky and her voice is nagging and her gorgeous orange hair and Everest green eyes and OMG WHAT AM I SAYING! IM LOSING IT! I HATE APRIL KEPNER! "I'm sorry I need to excuse myself." I say pivoting out of the ER and into the bathroom.

I lean up against the wall and put my head in my hands. What is going on with me I'm so unstable. I walk over to the sink and splash some water in my face to try and jolt me into the right state of mind. I grab a paper towel to dry my face and then I look into the mirror to see a farmilar ginger girl staring back at me.

"God April don't do that!" I say, jumping out of my skin.

"Gosh." She corrects me. "Why'd you run out of the ER? Are you ok?"

"Yeah yeah I'm fine." I say brushing her off. I walk out of the bathroom so I don't have to be in the same room as her anymore. When I go into the hallway, out of her eyesight, I feel like I can breathe. I escape into the tunnels as she walks back to the back to the ER. I sit down on a gurney and pull the little flip notebook out of my lab coat pocket and begin writing. I know I made fun of April for writing all her feelings down in her notebook but I was honestly jealous. I wish I had the kinda freedom to just write whatever I want.

So I start journalling stupid things like what I did this morning and the case we got assigned.

I got to work with shepherd today but I also had to work with Kepner. I hate her. She's annoying, she keeps me off focus, she's just the worst. I don't know what to do because I really want to scrub in but I'm against April and everyone likes her, even shepherd. I wish I could find some way to make me stand out.

Just then, Meredith and Cristina walk in and plop down next to me forcefully, rocking the unlocked gurney. I quickly shove my note book back into my pocket and smile at them.

"Owen is being so annoying!" Cristina starts. "He's so uptight now he's chief and we haven't had sex in days. I'm actually dying."

"I can't complain, I just met Derek in an on-call room an hour ago. Life is good for me." Meredith says as she chuckles. "What about you Lex?" Meredith asks "You getting any from Alex?" Shit! If I'm being honest, I forgot I was with Alex. We've been weird since the shooting and the fact that he was calling out for his ex wife kinda rubbed me the wrong way.

"Uh no uh I don't even know if me and Alex are still together at this point." I say readjusting on the bed.

"Aw I'm sorry Lex." Meredith says putting her arm around me. I flick my wrist into my eye sight and read my watch which reads 12:30.

"Oh shit it's lunch." I say popping up off my seat. "Let's go!" I say putting my hands out for them to grab onto. They both hold my hand and I pull them up.