Your lips my lips, Apocalypse (Lapril)

Love

We grab our trays and sit down at a table with Alex and Jackson. I pick a seat next to Alex even though I would rather sit anywhere else. I make awkward conversation with him and I can sense he feels the same way. This "relationship" isn't going anywhere but i can't break up with him in-front of everyone. I'll do it tonight. I start planning it out in my head before my train of thought is cut off by a woosh of ginger hair flashes before my eyes.

April sits diagonal to me and starts talking a mile a minute.

"I thought you had a big trauma?" I ask her from across the table.

"He was dead upon arrival." She says taking a bite of an apple. "It's sad really." She says frowning.

"Yeah it's sad for us cause we don't get a surgery out of it." Alex says smirking. It's a jack-ass thing to say but the table still laughs. Everyone but April. I look at her with eyes that say "I'm sorry everyone is so awful." She smiles at me and I can't help myself from smiling back. I feel my face flush and I look down at my tray in embarrassment.

"Why you so red lex?" Jackson asks bringing everyone's attention to me.

"Oh uh-u-h-h um I- uh" I say stuttering, getting more red. "Uh no reason."

"Whatever." He mumbles before taking a bite out of his burger.

We eat and talk for the rest of our 30 minutes off we have and I can't keep my eyes off April. I don't know what it is. It's like they have a mind of their own and all that mind wants to do is stare at April, apparently. I quickly finish my lunch and pretend to get a page and rush out of the cafeteria.

I duck into an on call room to catch my breath. I sit down on a bed and try to calm myself down. I feel flushed and lightheaded and a little crazy. I feel tears start rolling down my cheeks. Most likely because I'm overwhelmed.

Soon the crying is more ridged and harsh. My eyes feel puffy and head starts sharply hurting. My breathing quickens and I start hyperventilating. The walls start feeling like an in closure and there's no exit. Luckily a beacon of hope comes to my rescue. Light floods into the dark room and a woman stands in the doorway. It's Dr Torres, probably looking for somewhere to sleep.

"I'm sorry you probably want to sleep. I'll get out of your way." I say, my voice trembling, getting up from my spot and b-lining for the door. She grabs my hand and turns me to face her.

"Lexie are you ok?" She says holding me by my shoulders. I shake my head yes as my teeth chatter and my face gets covered in warm, salty tears.

"No you're not." She says forcefully as she pushes me back onto the bed and shuts the door and locks it. She sits down next to me and rubs my back as my head falls onto her shoulder. I cry harder and my tears soak her scrubs. "It's ok hon, let it out." After a few minutes I sit back up and wipe my eyes. I look at her shoulder and she it's covered in salty tears and smeared mascara.

"OMG IM SO SORRY I GOT MASCARA ON YOU IM SOR-" I scream in a frantic.

"It's ok it ok I swear they're old I don't care about them." She says giggling. "So what's going on Lexie?" She says raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know." I say putting my head in hands. She starts stroking my hair as my legs start ferocity shaking.

"Well let's start from the beginning. When did you start feeling like this? This overwhelming feeling." Callie's asks, still stroking my hair.

"I don't know. I think lunch or maybe no before that. The pit! I was asleep with April in the library and we ran down into the pit for a trauma and Hunt made a joke about us being close and thats when I started feeling like this. This feeling like the walls are closing in on me and I can't breathe." I fall back into her shoulder and she rubs my back. "And then I felt it again during lunch when I was talking to April. I-I-I just couldn't stop looking at her. Something about her just drew my eyes in. Maybe her orange hair or gorgeous green eyes or adorable little smile and nose scrunch that makes me whole stomach flip."

"Yeah yeah I feel like that a lot too." Callie says.

"What is it?"

"Love."