Hard As It Is

Chapter 9

Amir (two weeks later)
Smack! My head is forced to the side as the sound echoes and the force of Lee's palm collides with my cheek. There's a burning sensation afterwards as I look in his direction slowly to see him on the verge of a breakdown. Tears welling his already red eyes, his hair looked as though it hadn't been combed in days.

"Lee I-

"Nah ain't no Lee shit! Just where have you been, do you not know how worried I've been!" He tells me shaken violently.  "I'm sorry," my voice is weak. No amount of sorry's would change what has happened though.

I feel arms wrap around me squeezing me tightly.  As Lee cries into my shoulder. My eyes don't look up nor do my arms reach to hug him back. I stand there comatose staring at the floor. 

"I can't put into words how sorry I am-

"Just shut up please," Lee tells me and I do just that.

"Fuck off me, where that stupid ass nigga at!" A coarse voice yells through the hallways of the trap.

I tilt my head up looking towards the door, the loud voice disturbs my thoughts.

Lee let's me go sniffling, through his shocked expression. We look at each other hearing the voice get closer as the floorboards cave.

"Nelly! Stop! Boss back there with Lee discussing something!"

"Man Fuck off me! What his pussy ass gonna do? Motherfucker couldn't even save Marcello!" I hear the all to familiar voice taunt me as it draws closer.

The door opens forcefully, and I come face to face with a scowl on the face of a brown skin man. Nelly White, Marcelo's biological son.

The scowl on his face deepens as he tries to punch me. I dodge his attack stumbling backwards.

"Son of a bitch!" He screams at me trying to lunge at me once more. as some of the guys that came out of the rooms tries to hold him back. I watch as they force Nelly onto the ground as he struggles to out of their grips.

Lee steps in between Nelly and I. "Let go of me! I'm a kill yo bitch ass," Nelly screams at me trying to pry away from the niggas that were holding him back.

I see the pain in his eyes, and I know he has every right to be upset.  "It's alright Nel, it's okay," Lee says tears escaping his eyes, as he kneels down stroking the tears that break away from the corner of Nell's eyes.

I swallow a ball of air so hard it hurts, as I choke back a sob watching the male cry in Lee's arms.

"Nelly calm down for me okay," Lee tells him rubbing his back. "Stop telling me to calm down, why you stepping in between Lee," Nelly tells him  through tears.

"I'm trying to save your life, Amir just like you isn't in the right state of mind. We don't need no more blood splatter," Lee lets Nelly know looking back towards me.

I wondered what my expression shown, to make him look between me, and my younger brother in pity.

I lock eyes with my brother, he's still crying, and I would be dammed if I didn't shed a tear.

In this moment is when the weight sinks into the pit of my soul. I can't do nothing but drop to the ground, and ball my eyes out.

"I'm sorry." I repeat it through the tears. Did I look silly to them?

"Don't blame yourself Amir. There's no way you could've none this was going to happen. Marcello's death was not your fault. He wouldn't want you to take blame for this," Lee lets me know hugging me. I cry into his arms, watching the group that held my brother down release him.