WILL LIAM

EPISODE 4

I COULDN'T sleep all night, this time not for the same reasons I couldn't every night, but because I agreed to go out with a gay on the weekend, isn't that like a date? I was overthinking it.

I had thoughts like, what if he came at me? Do they force people? Or raped me? The last one was just foolish. I ended up reading materials about gays, trying to know more about the community.

They had quite a lot of stereotypes like, being promiscuous, stylish, tops being masculine and bottoms feminine. Liam didn't come off as either of that to me, he wasn't so masculine or feminine. He was like an in between guy. One said they try as much as possible to avoid guys outside the community but it couldn't be helped.

Despite saying we'd hang out the next day, he came to the pub, making side comments and practically distracting me from work.

One second, he'd be bored, the next, he'd act like he just saw the funniest thing but as much as he didn't want me to know-- or maybe just wanted me to, that's why he didn't hide it-- I saw his sadness, anger and hesitation to leave when the pub closed.

I wondered if he didn't want to go home just like me. I really did want to ask but worried I'd open up a wound he's trying so hard to keep closed.

I sat up from my bed, in the tinier than expected cocoon I always locked myself in. When mum died, I was asked to move from my bedroom to this used to be store so 'your brother will feel welcomed.' Who cared shit about him? I did leave my bedroom, never set foot in it since then.

One time I got a glimpse of it in passing and didn't recognize it as my room expect the old wooden clock that still hung there. The room had been scattered with clothes, posters of models mostly in their bikinis, I wondered how he slept knowing they were watching him.

I went to the bathroom, the one I wished I didn't share with Parker, the prick was everywhere. He should still be sleeping by now, so I splashed water on my face, brushing my teeth.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I looked forward to 'hanging out' with Liam, I wanted to know more about him. I looked in the mirror, an eighteen-year-old with shaggy hair, bed creases, brown eyes, and a toothbrush in mouth was staring back at me.

I wouldn't call that handsome, or cute. I sighed, they said wearing contacts to sleep wasn't advisable, but I'm always tired when I get back and falling to my bed to care about them.

Not only did Parker have green eyes, but his slag of a mother did also, that was just fucked up. A happy family of green eyes and curly hair. I wished I'd inherited mum's eyes, the beautiful shade of brown-like tone, her eyes were the most beautiful, and always will be. I wished I had her straight hair too.

I was done brushing my teeth and about to take a bath, when I heard footsteps of Parker. ''Oh shit, not today.'' I sighed. I try so hard to avoid interactions with them.

I stormed out of the bathroom, heading for my room, ''hey_'' I heard but didn't even turn around.

I didn't want a ruined mood today --not like I was ever in a not ruined mood with Parker and his mother around-- it was my first hang out with a friend in months, I deserved a better mood.

I decided to rephrase it to 'getting to be friends' when I realized I didn't have his number, yet. I completely forgot to ask for it, I picked up my phone, getting his number was a piece of cake. I was suddenly thankful they didn't throw me out of the group chat or left when I'd wanted to. I guess they didn't throw me out because they didn't know I was there.

Liam's birthday had been noisy, he should've gotten wishes and there should be his 'thank yous'. I scrolled down to two months ago, just how much do these lads chat in two months.