WILL LIAM

EPISODE 11

A/N: Sexual content ahead. I'll add the (18+) when it gets to it.

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I WOKE up to a heavy weight of guilt. Guilt for running out of the hospital. Guilt for having sex' while my twin' that I pushed down a flight of stairs was prolly still fighting for his life. Guilt that the sex felt so good. Guilt for using Liam for my release. Guilt for everything I've done all my life. The guilt was prying me open and tearing me apart.

Liam was still sleeping, his head on my splayed arm. He snuggled closer and I subconsciously wrapped my arm around you. I couldn't help staring, admiring his facial features all over again.

He was beautiful.

How was I going to apologize for calling him disgusting'? For calling this disgusting'?

His brows arched revelling a frown. Was he having a bad dream? Before I could think of the next thing, his eyes shot open, startling me a bit.

He squinted, adjusting to the light that had rushed into the room, we'd forgotten the curtains last night. We'd forgotten more than just the curtains.

"Are you okay?" Was the first he asked, I couldn't reply, I wasn't okay. Nothing was okay.

I sat up, pulling the duvet with me, bringing my knees close to my chest. I placed my jaw on it and crossed my arms around it to keep steady.

I looked at everything but Liam, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to look at him or even talk to him after yesterday. I didn't regret it, but I wished I felt regret instead of guilt.

He got out of the bed, walking to the bathroom unclad. That was when I realized I was naked too. When he closed the door at his back, I searched around for my clothes and managed to find my underwear at the foot of the desk where it had been tossed. I hurriedly put it on, reverting to my earlier position.

Liam came out a while later, a towel wrapped around him. I buried my face in my palms, I didn't want to look at him. I felt so horrible.

The side of the bed dipped, I looked up just to see him sitting on the ragged bed, reminding me fully of the memories of last night. He wanted to say something,- I knew it from the way he cleared his throat awkwardly and ran his fingers in his hair,- but restrained himself.

He was gonna talk about last night, what should I do? I wasn't prepared for 'that talk'. I dont think I'll ever be.

"Are you okay? Do you want to go to the hospital? I can go with you." He said instead. As much as I was thankful, I was kind of disappointed.

I shook my head, "No, I can't go. I don't know how to face them." I really didn't, I was the kid who always waited for his mum to solve his problems. I don't deal well with 'em, like I'd done with Parker and his mum. I noticed acknowledging her as my mum was so hard. "I'll go to school instead " I buried my face in my palm again.

"You sure? You can stay and I'll call in sick for you." Couldn't he be less considerate? At least I'd feel less of a scum.

"No__" I looked up at him, when I met his eyes, I couldn't hold his gaze and looked at his nose instead, then managed a smile. "It's okay. I'll go to school."

I needed school, not to learn but I needed the stares, the snide, snarky comments. I needed the hatred, something to make me feel alive.

Liam didn't argue. He offered me his spare uniform, knowing I wouldn't wanna go home. I thankfully took it, it was a little tight but could do and in no time, we were ready for school mostly in silence. awkward silence. Which was new, silence between Liam and I was never awkward.