"ASH! You have to fix this," Sirius wails as he collapses in front of Ash during lunch.
"Fix what?"
"This!" Sirius gestures to the air around him.
"I don't see the issue?"
"That's the issue! You don't see anything," Sirius cries, "no girls. They're scared of you!"
"Why would they-"
"They think we're dating!" Sirius yells.
"As long as you aren't actually dating, I don't see the issue," James shrugs.
"The issue is that no one is kissing me good night so Ash has to fix it. Either she needs to actually date me like the rumors say or end the rumor entirely."
"Only one option there," Remus laughs at his friends franticness.
"Oh come on Sirius you can survive without a shag," Ash rolls her eyes.
"I'm dying."
"I'm still not seeing the issue," Ash grins.
"If you date me I'll tell you," Sirius looks up.
"I guess I'll never know then."
"Please Ash. All the girls I've flirted with just look me up and down with disgust and wonder why I would cheat on someone like you. They're terrified of you. You should hear them!" Sirius begs.
"It is funny. What they say about you," Remus chuckles.
"I heard she scored 15 goals after her arm was shattered by 10 bludgers."
"I heard Fabian was so enthralled by her that he couldn't even look at another girl without throwing up."
"I heard that James killed her last boyfriend."
"That one's my favorite."
"I heard she can cast ten jinxes at once."
"Have you seen her? She's beautiful, clearly, Sirius is mentally deficient if he cheats."
"That's exactly what they say. Which is why you need to fix this. Dispel the rumors!" Sirius pleads.
"No," Ash smiles, "In fact, I've never wanted to kiss you more."
"Go ahead then! Like I said, either date me for real or don't," Sirius throws a tantrum.
"What do yall reckon I should do? James?"
"I think you should let him sit in his misery. Besides it's a win win cause now people won't ask you out either-"
"Hey um Ash. I was wondering if you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with me. You know, take a break from Sirius. People say he's been cheating on you," a blonde Hufflepuff mumbles shyly.
"BOLD MOVE! I'm right here Daniels!" Sirius yells.
"On second thought. ASH IS TOO YOUNG TO DATE! Get away!' James yells.
"Alright alright, pipe down," Ash sighs, "I was thinking of getting back together with Fabian anyways."
"What? A few weeks ago you said you broke up with him cause eh wasn't the one," Remus says.
"Maybe I was too harsh. He really is a great guy. Even James started getting comfortable with him."
"He and his girlfriend broke up last month," Peter adds, "...because he was still hung over you."
"So it's settled," Ash smiled and stood onto the table.
"I Ash Potter am not dating Sirius Black. I have never and will never date Sirius. So, I'm ready for a relationship," Ash announces and takes her seat again.
"No! No that's worse. NONONONONONONOONOONOONONNO. I much prefer a fake relationship with Sirius over a real one," James complains.
Marlene and Lilly sprint towards Ash.
"What do you think you're doing!?" Marlene shakes her.
"Do you know how hard it's been holding off your suitors?" Lilly asks.
"Come on it's just a joke," Ash rolls her eyes.
"Hey," A brunette girl walks up, "I heard you were ready for a relationship. So me? Would you like to date me?"
"Oh that's really sweet but no," Ash says, "anyways-"
"I think a few other people have questions for you Ash," Marlene smirks and points behind her.
A line was forming. A line of potential suitors for Ash.
"Absolutely not," James stands up and get's ready to yell.
"Every single one of you in this line is subject to violent pranking unless you leave within 3 seconds!" Sirius shouts.
About ten people leave the line but they are quickly replaced by 20 others.
"Leave!" James yells.
"I Have two tickets in the V.I.P. box for the Holyhead Harpies," A brunette boy offers.
"Yes." James whips his head towards him, "I'll date you."
"Um no the other Potter," the boy corrects.
"Sorry but no," Ash shrugs.
"Wait! Please!" James yells.
"Over Lilly-Flower?" Remus asks.
"No I need to get those tickets so I can ask my Lilly-flower on a date," James narrows his eyes at the retreating boy before running after him.
"I'll start rejecting them," Marlene says.
"No need. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN ANY OF YOU," Ash announces to the forming line.
Barely anyone budges.
"I'll get started then. Lilly start at the back I'll start at the front," Marlene says.
"There's no way this is happening."
"It's happening," Remus laughs.
"It's really your fault for announcing you're ready for a relationship," Peter points out.
"I can help you forget about him. I'm Marlene approved. We could go to Hogwarts, I'll pay," A brunette boy introduces himself.
"I'm not interested."
"Now Ash has the opposite problem, karma," Sirius laughs.
It took an hour to thoroughly reject everyone. Some went through the line twice. Remus was slightly annoyed. He never realized how popular Ash was. His annoyance dimmed when he saw how harshly she had begun to reject people.
Sometimes she said no.
Other times she would say heck no.
In Remus's favorite times she would say "not with that face" or some other insult.
YOU ARE READING
Remus <3
FanfictionAsh Potter was always close to James and so it was only natural for her to be a marauder. Just like it was only natural for her to fall in love with Remus. But when her brother is as protective as James it'll be anything but easy. Especially with Re...
