✓ the way i want you | 희승

Chapter 22 : Group B.

Eventually I moved back into my original dorm with Heeseung and settled back to where I was before. It's still a little awkward between us after everything that has happened. And to be honest, I feel embarrassed about spilling my sobs to him.

He technically doesn't know what happened or why i was crying, which I want to keep it that way. It's better to not cause anymore trouble. And besides, today was the last day of school before winter break.

"Class, don't forget to turn in your field trip forms by the end of the day!" The teacher said as the bell rang.

An annual winter field trip. Everyone is always looking forward to this particular trip because we stay away for a couple nights. Last year, we went to Tokyo for a sightseeing trip. This year, we're going to a ski resort.

I packed up my bag with my form in hand ready to leave the class.

"Y/n!" I turned to see Sunoo. "You're going on the trip right? Lets share a room at the lodge, they said we can choose who to stay with."

"Okay!" I smiled and headed out to the main office.

As I walked along the halls, I spotted Jay and Sunghoon talking to each other by their lockers. It feels as if I haven't talked to them in forever. Well, it is true. Jake kept me pretty occupied for a month or two.

I still went to my skate practices but Sunghoon and I never hung out afterwards then. Jay was always busy with his many girlfriends he had. I couldn't keep up with them so I stopped trying.

"Jay, Sunghoon!" I called out as I walked up to them.

"Hey y/n, where've you been? Haven't seen you in a while." Jay asked me.

"Just... out and about." I said. "Are you guys going on the ski trip?"

"Hell yeah we are. Remember all those family ski trips?" Sunghoon asked.

I do. Sunghoon was always with my family because of Jay. He refused to do anything unless Sunghoon was allowed to tag along. I was never into skiing like the rest of my family though. I was more of a snowboarding person. I learned it when I was little and used to compete before I started ice skating with Sunghoon.

After a few minutes of catching up, we parted ways so I could hand in my form.

Because of this trip, I worked more often to be able to pay for it. That meant I saw Jungwon even more. I could tell he still liked me a little as he would always flirt a bit and asked to hangout a lot. But I always turned him down because I didn't want to start anything again. I couldn't.

After all this time, I spent most of it thinking to myself. I wasn't sure of who I liked anymore. I know for a fact that Jungwon wasn't an option anymore. He had always been nice to me at work, but at school he was with other girls. It's like I don't exist there.

Heeseung on the other hand, always wanted to hangout with me. It was nice knowing that someone will always be there for me. I wanted to be there for him too, but I wasn't. He was always acting strange when I'm not really around and I could tell he was hiding something. I feel guilty for not asking what's wrong or trying to help him, when all he wanted for me was to be happy.

With Jake, it's more complicated. I know my feelings for him were real. But I don't know if his were for me.

—

"Y/n, almost packed?" Heeseung called from his room.

I looked on the clothes covering my floor on my room. I couldn't decide what to wear. We're only gone for 3 days and 2 nights. I'll also mostly wear my ski clothes. Maybe a few nice outfits if we go out to eat or something.

"Almost!" I said, picking up some clothes and folding it into my suitcase.

"I heard they have a big hot tub and heated pool there." He leaned against my doorway.

"That's nice. I'm so excited! Are you?" I asked while smiling big.

He chuckled. "Of course I am. As long as you're there, I'm alright." He said before walking away back to his room.

Gosh, he still gave me butterflies.

After packing up, I set my alarm for 5 AM. We leave early in the morning so we get the whole day to have fun when we get there. The bus leaves at 6, but I wanted to get some coffee or something before we get on. After all, it's already almost 11pm so I need that coffee to stay awake tomorrow.

As I finished setting my alarm, Sunoo called me.

"What's up?"

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to sit on the bus with me."

"Sure! I just finished packing."

"Great. I can't wait! We're gonna look so good skiing."

"Sunoo, I don't ski." I chuckled.

"Then what are you gonna do the whole trip?"

"I snowboard."

"Really? Wow, everyday you amaze me."

I laughed at his comment. My phone buzzed and I looked at it to see who was texting me at this hour. I put Sunoo on speaker.

"Y/n? Are you listening?"

"Yeah, sorry. Someone's texting me."

"Who is it?"

"Jake again." I sighed.

"Ugh, girl just block him."

I stood up, holding my phone to go close the door in case Heeseung over hears. He might be sleeping.

"It's not that easy as you think. I don't know how I feel about him right now. It's very confusing."

"Y/n, he didn't treated you well. He practically used you for your body and distractions. Isn't that why you broke up with him?"

"We were never dating. I just ended things with him for a while."

"And it should stay ended. He isn't good for you."

I thought for a moment. Sunoo's right. I can't be around someone like him. It would just make me miserable again.

"Is he going on the trip?"

Sunoo sighed. "Unfortunately he is. But don't worry, I think he's going on group A bus. Ours is group B."

"Okay. I hope I won't have to run into him."

I really hope I don't. I can't talk to him just yet. I need more time and space. Jake has been texting me, asking for me to talk or come over. I've been ignoring them. I still feel sad about everything that has happened. I mean, Jake was there for me during my problems. But after that, he never really was there.

—

finally back after a short break :) happy happiest birthdays to jay from last week!! follow my ig for more updates: itsmarsoclock

on serious note, may moonbin rest in peace as our star and our angel 🕊️🤍