AFTER DARK | Johan Liebert

Chapter 11: Kiel, 1995

On a chilly October night, I sat in a bar, listening to the conversation of my classmates.

"Well, I didn't know what else to do, so why not become a teacher?"

"Right. Actually, I wanted to study medicine, but I totally screwed up in my finals."

They eventually looked at me.

"What about you, Klara?"

"Huh?" I held my glass of water with both hands, looking at them in curiosity. "Me? Well..." I smiled shyly. "I wanted to become a teacher all my life. I think it's a great job. Encouraging children to go after their aspirations, teaching them for life..." "Eeeeh?" One of the girls grinned, holding back her laughter. "You mean it?" I was flustered and confused by her reaction, not knowing how to handle the situation. But I didn't add anything. 'Did I say something wrong?'

"Excuse me? You're Klara, right?"

I turned around. A tall man with black hair stood in behind me, his cheeks slightly red. "Yes, I am. You're... Sebastian, right?" "Right. Wanna sit at the bar with us?" He pointed at his friends. I shrugged. "Sure." Then, I followed him. 

I had a good time with Sebastian and his friends - though I only remembered his name. He was studying Maths and German, if I recalled correctly. And his cheeks weren't red because of me, they were because of the glass in his hand. His guy friends were definitely better than the girls I had hung around with, but they started to get more touchy with every sip they took, and at some point, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had never understood the concept of getting drunk for fun. It totally turned me off. That's why I decided to leave the bar.

"Thank you for the evening, guys", I said, standing up and taking my bag. "I'll take my leave. I still have some uni stuff to do." "Come on, Klara, it's Friday!", someone complained. I laughed. "See you." 

When I opened the door, I was happy to breathe fresh air again. But I heard someone leaving the bar behind me. It was Sebastian.

"Wait, Klara! Don't leave without me!" He was slurring and reeking of alcohol. I ignored him, hoping to get away, back to my dormitory.

He grabbed my hand.

"You're so pretty, Klara."

"Thank you", I said. "Good night, then." I wanted to leave again, but he didn't let go of me.

"How 'bout me go back to my place?"

"Absolutely not. Let go of me, please."

He got even closer, his face was in front of mine. "Come on! Let's go." I rolled my eyes. "Let go of me, Sebastian!" He was too drunk to realise what he was doing.

"Let her go."

For a moment, Sebastian loosened the grip and looked up. I used the moment to get away, and stand next to the man who spoke up. At first, Sebastian didn't want to give up, but the glare of the other guy must have scared him away.

"Fine... dammit." He left without another word.

"Are you alright?"

The man turned to see my face. His dark hair was slightly chaotic due to the breeze, and when I looked into his bright eyes, I could feel my cheeks go red. "I- Y-Yes. Thank you for helping me." His serious expression turned into a smile. "No problem." He pointed at the promenade. "Would you like to go on a short walk?" Mesmerised, I nodded. "I'd like to."

His name was Erik. At the time, he was 22 and an Architecture student. He was a calm man, but passionate for his work. I let him do the talking because I enjoyed listening to him and his stories. He, however, asked me many questions. I was surprised that someone was actually interested in me. I never had a bunch of friends, and I had never been popular, just a plain wallflower, young and naive. I used to gush about Erik's appearance, his smile and his eloquence. It may not have been love at first sight, but I had been captivated by his eyes from the very start.

"Are you from Kiel?", Erik asked me.

"No", I said, shaking my head. "My family lives near Stuttgart."

His eyes widened. "You moved on your own from the very south to the very north? That's rare." He tilted his head. "You must miss your family a lot."

I looked sideways, remaining silent.

"Oh, I understand. You moved away on purpose."

"It's lonely, to be honest", I said. "But loneliness isn't as painful to me as being around people who demean me."

For a moment, we walked through the night without saying anything. The water was reflecting the city lights, and it had gotten quite cold. 

"You're not the only one who feels lonely."

He smiled at me. "But tonight, I don't feel lonely." Erik looked deeply into my eyes, and my heart was racing. I couldn't help but grin out of joy.

"Me neither."

The scent of food made me open my eyes. I stared at a white ceiling. Where am I?

Then, I remembered. It was 2001, and I was sick. My first and last relationship had ended years ago, and I was as lonely as I used to be six years ago. I looked at the clock. It was 7 PM.

"You're awake."

I winced when I heard a male voice. Then, Johan entered the living room, wearing an apron.

"What are you doing here?", I asked slowly, still weak. I couldn't even sit upright.

"I've attended university and came back to check on you. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know." I looked to the right, avoiding his gaze. "You don't need to look out for me. Thank you for driving me home."

He just looked at me without answering. Then, he sighed, moving his gaze to the ground.

"If you need help, you can call me. I wrote my number down for you. If you're feeling better, you can eat soup. I didn't prepare a serving for you because I don't know if you want to eat right now." He turned around. "Anyway, get well soon, Klara. I'll get going."

And with these words, he was gone. I hadn't heard most of his words because my brain was too slow to process everything, but I could still smell a little. Slowly, I stood up and walked towards the kitchen. He must have bought soup for me on his way here. I smiled to myself.

I saw my pot on the stove. Carefully, I took off the lid, shocked and moved by what I saw. It was Borscht, an Ukrainian soup I used to eat a lot during my childhood. I took a spoon to try it. It made me almost tear up.

"It's not bought."