AFTER DARK | Johan Liebert

Chapter 45: We'll be fine

The last rays of sunshine passed through the window when I woke up. I was lying on a sofa, with multiple pillows and a blanket. But it wasn't my sofa, and the scent in this place was different as well. It felt familiar, though.

Suddenly, Johan stepped into the room. He faintly smiled at me, while I probably stared at him like a fool. He came closer to me, sitting down next to me.

"How are you feeling?", he asked softly.

Slowly, I sat upright, looking at him with a wondering expression, feeling slightly dizzy. "... I don't know. Why am I here?"

"This is my place", Johan answered. "We went here after everything that happened."

Everything that happened...

"How you whimpered and screamed that night—"

The realisation hit me like a bus. His sharp eyes, how he threatened me, how me hurt me as I was lying on the ground—

Eyes widening, I held a hand in front of my mouth, feeling nauseous after remembering everything. Johan reacted quickly, holding a dustbin next to me as I couldn't keep myself from vomiting. Then, he gave me a tissue, looking at me in worry. Panting, I looked sideways.

"I'm sorry. That was disgusting."

"Don't apologise. You've been through a lot."

He stood up, taking the plastic bag off the dustbin to throw it away. In the meantime, I was processing what had happened earlier that day, which still seemed barely believable to me. Everything was so messed up. I felt tears coming to my eyes again, and I closed them immediately. No, not again. Stop crying, damn it!

It was no use crying. It wouldn't change anything, just increase my self-pity. I needed to make steps forward. And I could make them with him. Johan came back to the sofa, sitting down next to me again.

"Today was quite a thrilling day." He looked towards the ground. Even Johan was short on words.

"I guess we don't need any adventure for the next five years", I answered. He chuckled at my remark, but his eyes were tired and sad.

"I'm glad you didn't shoot him today."

He looked at me, astonished.

"I know you wanted to. If I held a gun in that moment, I probably would have done it, too."

For a moment, no one said anything. Then, Johan replied.

"You know, about that..."

He sighed.

"You're right. I thought that he should pay for his crimes. On the other hand... Who am I to take someone's life, when I was saved twice from certain death? And the second time I was saved, Doctor Tenma knew what I had done... if Erik deserves to die, I deserve that, too."

Though it was hard to admit, he was kind of right.

"But I don't want to die. I finally found a reason to live. And perhaps, I can be a version of myself that I was never able to show." He faced me with determination. "I don't want to fall back into my old patterns. But for that, I need you to help me. To stay by my side, just like on our first date. So I will overcome that darkness for sure."

I was willing to. But I didn't want to rush into anything, especially after all the things that had happened the last week.

"I guess we're both individuals who haven't experienced a lot of love", I murmured, fiddling with my fingers. "Right now, we're getting along perfectly, but relationships are more than positive feelings and affection. Sooner or later, we will get to see the uglier and hurt sides of each other, and we'll need to deal with that... But I think we have a good basis for a relationship. I need you in my life, too. And I don't want us to be separated anymore. If we'll commit to each other, I'm willing to give you my everything."

Johan looked towards the ground, sighing. Though he seemed tense, I sensed that he was moved by my words.

"I'm ready to commit myself to us, Klara. And I'll tell you everything about my past, just like you told me about yours. I won't try to hide anymore, and start over with you. And someday... we might be able to let go of our pain from the past, and eventually move on."

The sky became fully dark as we sat on the sofa, thinking. Johan stood up, walking towards the glass door. 

"Want to go to the balcony?"

I followed him there. The night was calm, no wind, just us and the starry sky. It was a little chilly as we stood there, and I clung to the blanket around me, sitting down on the bench. Johan observed the dark sky, looking thoughtfully while doing so. When he glanced at me, I opened my right arm, asking him to come to me. With a sweet smile, he sat down next to me, taking the other end of the blanket around his shoulders. I leaned towards him as he leaned his head on mine.

"I'm aware the next months won't be easy."

He sounded concerned.

"It will be my first relationship. I don't have any experience, as you know. But if I dare say that..." He made a short pause. "I want this to be my first and last relationship."

I slightly raised my head, looking at him in astonishment. He smiled.

"Are you surprised? I've been thinking about this a lot the past days. I don't need anybody else by my side, and I don't want to. As long as I have you, I know I'll be fine... Perhaps you feel the same way."

I couldn't explain the feeling I had when he told me this. It made me feel so fulfilled, as if I'd finally arrived at the destination I'd always wanted to be at.

"Yes", I answered quietly, smiling. "As long as we're together,

we'll be fine."