AFTER DARK | Johan Liebert

Chapter 38: One last night

"Klara... I promise you that no one will ever do this to you again. Everything will be better from now on... I'll make sure of it."

Through my blurred sight, I reached out for his hand, slowly intertwining it with mine. I knew he wouldn't do that to me. That's why I was able to tell him the story, and despite having experienced this terrible thing, I could let him embrace me without any fear. I just didn't know whether I'd ever be able to come to terms with this incident. But I wanted to move on, and to do that, I had to tell Johan about it, so he'd know where I was coming from.

In the end, telling him about it made me feel more at ease than before, even if it meant showing the most vulnerable side of me. I was grateful to have him by my side. He held me like he'd never let me go, giving me all the time I needed to recover. No matter how many hours passed, he was still there for me.

I must have fallen asleep over time, because when I opened my eyes, the sun was setting already. I heard my teapot whistle on the stove, but the sound disappeared shortly after. Half a minute later, Johan came out of the kitchen, having noticed I'd woken up.

"You're awake." He tried to smile, but it was barely visible. "How are you feeling?"

I sat upright, a little dizzy. "I guess I'm better." He approached me, then stopped in front of me.

"I made tea for us, but I thought you might want something to eat. Do you want to?"

"Oh, I don't know, really. I don't feel very hungry at the moment-"

But when Johan fetched a bar of chocolate, he had me.

"Well, it's fine if it's chocolate."

Luckily, eating chocolate made me a bit happier. I tried to offer Johan many times, but he didn't accept even a bit of chocolate, telling me I should eat it all. Eventually, I did so, and after that, we drank our tea together, before Johan stood up, adjusting his shirt.

"It's getting late. I think I should go home."

I stood up, walking towards him, hesitantly looking in his eyes. But I couldn't keep eye contact, so I ended up looking sideways.

"I... I don't want to be alone tonight."

After saying these words, I took the courage to face him again.

"Please stay for the night."

He looked at me in astonishment first, but then smiled warmly. "Alright." I was delighted and relieved that he agreed. Otherwise, I would be plagued by nightmares tonight, and I didn't know how I'd cope with them if I were in my own.

We put our cups into the dishwasher and cleaned everything up as my apartment was gradually filled with the blue of the night. Johan went towards the kitchen door, turning around to me. "I'll get myself some clothes to change from my car. Can I shower here?" I nodded. "Sure, go ahead." He put on his shoes and went to get his clothes. In the meantime, I stood by the window, watching the darkened sky. Today felt like a different reality, I couldn't believe I had actually told Johan my story. But I was glad he was here, and that he stayed here. From the beginning, I had felt that our connection was very different from mine and Erik's, and that with Johan, the toxic cycle I used to be in would not repeat.

The door unlocked. Johan came back with a t-shirt and trousers, folded accurately in his hand. I stood up to go to the bathroom cupboard, pulling out a fresh towel. "You can use this one." He took it, thanking me, as I left the bathroom again, waiting for him to finish showering. To my surprise - it shouldn't have been surprising, though - the bathroom was completely clean afterwards, even cleaner than before, actually. Before I closed the door to shower as well, I glanced at Johan. "You can already go to bed if you want to. I'll be there in ten minutes."

When I came into the bedroom, wearing my light grey pyjamas, Johan was already waiting for me, sitting in the bed in his white t-shirt. He raised the blanket for me to slip under. For the first time in years, I felt such a warmth in my bed, feeling secure as I looked right into Johan's eyes, just a few centimetres separating us. He was much calmer than before, slightly closing his eyes.

"I'm glad you're feeling better again."

I smiled at him. "It's thanks to you. I love you, Johan."

Astonished by my words, his eyes slightly widened. His reaction made my heart flutter.

"I've never said these words to you before, didn't I? I guess it's about time."

I couldn't stop looking at him. He was my treasure, beautiful inside and out. Now that he lay right in front of me, I could see all his details - his long lashes, his single hair strands, and a few, but pale freckles on his nose. Carefully, I raised my hand, gently removing the hair strands in his face. He pulled me closer, giving me a tender kiss on my forehead.

"Good night, Klara."

He laid his arms around me, resting his head on the pillow, slightly above mine. I could feel his heartbeat close to mine, finally able to be at ease, feeling him, inhaling his scent, the scent that felt like home to me.

"I won't be able to come over for a week", he said quietly.

"I know." That's why I was glad to have him here tonight.

For an eternity, we just laid there, cuddling and trying to sleep. But it wasn't easy, because on the inside, I felt a mixture of relief and nervousness - it was paradoxical.

"You know..."

Johan sounded half asleep, saying a few words before his eyes closed completely.

"The first time I was shot, that brilliant doctor saved me because I was a small boy, and he didn't know me."

He made a short pause.

"The second time I was shot, he knew what I had done, and what kind of person I was. But still, instead of letting me die, he operated on me and saved my life a second time. But... why? I don't understand. Why did he save my life the second time, when he knew I was a monster?"

I couldn't answer him, my heavy eyelids closing eventually. I wish we could have stayed like this forever.

A/N: Hey guys! Slowly, this story is coming to an end. If everything stays the way I planned it through, After Dark will have a total of 46 chapters. The last loose ends will be tied up, but before that, there will be a couple of confrontations. I hope you look forward to it!