23. Keeping Secrets

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TW: detailed discussion of sexual assult

Eddie stands there, shocked, after you storm out. He reaches up to touch his cheek, which stings worse than he expected given how drunk he was; that was some slap.

People are going back to their conversations, which are now mostly hushed whispers and laughs about what they just witnessed. Onlookers pretending they don't want to know all about the drama that was none of their business.

Eddie immediately regrets saying those things to you. But he saw you kissing Jason Carver, of all fucking people.

...Right?

That was what he saw, right?

How could you possibly give a shit about him if you're making out with Jason Carver right in front of him?

Everything had felt so real between you two....That kiss while you were playing guitar. He'd never felt that way; never felt his heart beating that fast. He thought about it all that time.

Lost in thought, he barely sees Stacy barreling toward him. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" she hisses at him.

"Me? What about Y/N? I just saw her and Jason sucking face..."

"What?" Stacy scrunches her face up in confusion. "Look, Eddie, whatever you think you saw, Y/N would never kiss Jason. Not after everything that's happened... And if you're telling me that you really saw what you think you saw, then Jason basically just assaulted her... and what you just said makes everything even worse....which that means we really have to find her. NOW."

Before he has a chance to answer, she grabs his wrist. "Come with me. We're going to go find her."

"Stacy, she doesn't want me chasing after her. Not after what I said."

She stops trying to drag him and turns to him. "That might be true," she says through her teeth. "But there are things you need to know. And I'm going to tell you in the car. And you're going to make things right."

The way she says it brings chills to Eddie's spine. He suddenly feels a lot more sober.

********************

Some partygoers on the lawn said you had run down the road. Stacy knows you always keep your keys inside the sun protector on the passengers side so she climbs into the car, reaches over Eddie and grabs the keys. 

For the first minute of the drive, there's heavy and awkward silence, Stacy's fingers strumming nervously on the top of the steering wheel.

Eddie sighs, unable to take the silence anymore. "Stac, can you just tell---"

"She was raped, Eddie," Stacy says quietly.

And there it was. That was what was standing between you and him this whole time. An unimaginable trauma. Of all the scenarios Gareth pontificated in Eddie's trailer while they got high, this one was the worst. Eddie felt the blood drain from his face. It felt numb.

"Summer before freshman year," Stacy sighed, gearing up to tell the story. "It happened at Jason's house. It was one of Jason's parties...which is why I'm telling you she would have nothing to do with him. Sometimes she even thinks he has something to do with it...Anyway, she hasn't been the same since. She wanted to come back for our senior year, to prove to herself that it was behind her, that she was stronger than what had happened. And then she met you. And for the first time since it happened, I thought I saw my best friend again, coming out through the cracks of the walls she had built up..." Stacy had to stop, voice cracking, and quickly swiped away a tear.

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