Midnight Sounds

ms18

18

—

"Bitawan mo ko."

Hinawakan ko ang braso ni Sebastian at pilit kinalas iyon sa katawan ko. Ngunit ang gago pilit ibinabalik. Lalong lumala ang frustrations ko. Gusto ko siyang saktan. Hindi naman ako bayolente pero kapag siya ang nakaka-agrabyado sa 'kin, gusto kong ilabas ang galit ko ng buong-buo.

His touch was awakening something inside me I never want to talk about. I never want him in it.

"I'm sorry. Please, forgive me? Hmm?" He sounded like he was praying.

I inhaled a large amount of breath before breaking his hug. Tumayo ako at hinarap siya. My eyes never watered for a random guy before. Sebastian's making me question everything.

Tumayo si Sebastian at hinanap ang kamay ko. Iniwas ko iyon. I laughed mockingly at him.

"Gusto mo 'ko pero sa bestfriend mo ka laging nakatakbo kapag may nangyayari sa 'yo. Wala kang tiwala sa 'kin?" sumbat ko. "Eh, gago ka, kung wala kang planong ipaalam sa 'kin ang mga nangyayari sa 'yo, tigilan mo na 'ko!" singhal ko.

He sighed and giggled then pressed his eyes using his wrist. His actions baffle me. I avoided his eyes when he answered.

"Mahal kita, Celestine. As far as I know, I am the only one who's fighting. Sometimes, I choose to run to my friends when it concerns you because they console me. I needed that sometimes. I don't run to you because I was afraid of not getting the right reactions. I have been receiving rejections and my heart has its limits for that. I don't wanna reach that as I am still hoping you will love me back. Ikaw lang ang minahal ko ng ganito." Humakbang si Sebastian palapit at hinawakan ang kamay ko. "I choose to hide when I get hurt by you. Hence, I keep choosing my love for you despite them all."

"Your feelings. It's not my responsibility, Sebastian Louis." Walang awa kong sinabi.

"I know. I know that. You never miss a chance to remind me so how could I forget that?" He sounded so hurt that it hurts me more. He sighed heavily. Namamasa ang mata, hindi niya sinalubong ang titig ko.

"But your damn safety is always my responsibility after sending me home!" I shouted angrily.

"You are messing with my head, Celestine. Why are you acting this way? Why are you so pushy about my life now?" He turned confused and mad. "

Getting overwhelmed by the argument, the suppressed tears duct their way out of the corner of my eyes. Sebastian's eyes softened and got worried. Mabilis kong tinuyo.

"Ah," tumango-tango ako. "Kapag ako pushy, kapag si Sevelle concern lang? Edi tawagan mo at siya ang magbantay sa 'yo! Tutal siya ang nakaka-intindi sa 'yo!" garalgal ang boses ko bago hablutin ang bag na dala ko at naglakad palabas.

Twisting the door handle, I jolted back after getting dragged. Suminghap ako nang muntik na kaming maghalikan ni Sebastian sa biglang paghila niya. He pinned me against the wall. Both arms are locking me in place. Naalarma ako ng hindi ko makita ang IV stand niya!