[EN] All of Barcode (and Jeff's) first times in Korea

Chapter 1

CONTENT WARNING
First Kiss

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It's the fourth tissue paper that Jeff hands him. Patiently, he takes the next one out of the box and just waits. The hiccups don't subside and neither do the tears. When Barcode looks in the mirror he finds his makeup all ruined and his hair going the same way.

"Look at my face, I'm going to need to have my makeup done all over again!" The crying increases as he pinches his already red nose as if that will help him contain the tears.

Jeff remains silent for a while, again holding out another tissue. Barcode doesn't even notice the fact that Jeff doesn't bother picking up the used ones from his hand to throw them in the nearest trash can.

"Do you want to tell me what made you like this?" Jeff asks.

Barcode shakes his head and tries in vain to hold back another sob.

They're in the trailer where the dressing room they share is located. The shooting in Korea started two days ago and, just like in their first work, the crying crisis came without warning along with thousands of doubts.

"What can I do to help you?" Jeff insists, his usual low, gentle voice.

He tilts his head slightly and Barcode knows what he's looking for are his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths and reaches for yet another tissue which he uses to dry them off.

"I don't know if I can handle it." Barcode starts, controlling himself not to start screaming again, trying to keep his voice low. "I barely acted, P'Jeff! Look how many good people there are here!"

Putting his feelings into words just makes it all true and Barcode really has to hold back when his lips quiver in a pout. Jeff smiles—that reassuring smile—and gets closer, taking one of the younger's hands in his. He squeezes it lightly, which draws Barcode's gaze to their intertwined fingers and then to Jeff's eyes.

"You're here because you're good too." The simplicity with which Jeff says it almost makes him believe it. "After all, there are a lot of actors out there, but they chose us."

"It was Phi who chose me." A groan escapes Barcode's lips and he shakes his head again.

When the invitation arrived, with it came all the doubts and anxiety. There were a few sleepless nights at the beginning and a few more before they finally set off the shooting. Even with Jeff's support by his side full-time during those days, he couldn't control his nervousness.

And now Barcode was feeling even worse after reading the full script and coming across the kissing scenes. Once again the cry rises in his throat and he covers his face with his hands, embarrassed.

"Hey, look at me." Jeff calls again in the same tone and Barcode is forced to get out of his own head to pay attention to him. "Trust how hard you worked to get here. I'm also worried about doing something bad, but what I don't know I'll say and ask for help."

"But there will be kisses!" Barcode says still in the middle of crying, trying to dry his face.

Barcode doesn't even know how in the midst of all the embarrassment that it is to have an anxiety attack in front of Jeff, he still manages to say something like that. Even though he knew that after entering the world of BLs this moment was bound to arrive, he doesn't seem to take it like any other scene.

"Wow, I never thought I'd see someone cry so much for not wanting to kiss me." Jeff's offended tone makes Barcode look at the other and only then he sees that Jeff is joking, although Barcode narrows his eyes in his direction. "My oral health is up to date, okay? And I can brush my teeth right before the scene... Wait, do I have bad breath?"