A Wolf's Miracle

Chapter 29

H a r l a n

He had to get away from her, it was too much. Just being near her, smelling her, and feeling her so close to him drove him mad. Drove his wolf mad. He had never wanted someone as much as he wanted her. It was all he could think of. 

So that is why he had avoided her for weeks, making sure to ask Blaze about her progress while they patrolled the grounds. It seemed he had come to like her too, he understood that. She was fascinating, smart, and beautiful and the longer he stayed by her side the more he would corrupt her. 

Normally he wouldn't care about that. He was spoiled, he took what he wanted when he wanted it, and no one had ever been strong enough to stop him. He was selfish, but he couldn't be that way with her. So he would keep avoiding her, he'd avoid her until death if he had to, avoid his feelings, his desire. He wouldn't let this happen, he wouldn't let his wolf have her, for he knew not what he would do once that happened.

But her scent filled his nostrils as he walked the grounds near the pack house. Her beautiful and addicting scent had him nearly down on his knees. He had to get closer.

"Harlan?" hearing her voice for the first time in what seemed so long was like seeing a rainbow after the worst storm. 

He was indifferent to her, or at least he tried to be, she saw right through him. She always did and she always would. He knew why, he just wouldn't say it, wouldn't even let himself think it.

That all came crashing down when she called him a friend? What the actual hell was that? Is that all? How could she--

But then an intrusive thought corrupted his mind. Did he even deserve to be her friend?

He said something he knew would hurt her, hoping to cause the same damage to her heart she caused to his. But the moment he said it he regretted it. The flash of hurt on her face had him considering begging for her forgiveness. He never wanted to see that look on her face again, and neither did he want to be the one causing it.

"Why are you pushing me away, Harlan?" she asked, pretending to be okay, but that also caught him off-guard. How did she know?

He blurted "What?" and she set off into a speech about him not making decisions for her, and not pushing her away just because he was afraid of hurting her. He didn't think that was exactly what she said, but that was what he understood.

She talked so fast when she was mad.

"I missed you," she said what he was thinking. Fuck, he wanted to kiss her so bad he had to look away.

"You should go back, it's late, it's not safe here" It was meant to come out as an order but it was more of a plea. 

"Will you go back to the house with me?" she asked and for some reason, he just couldn't refuse.

____

Being back in his room felt nice. Being so close yet so far away from her was bittersweet. He loved the fact he could cross that hall and be there if she needed him. But he hated that he had to cross the hall. 

He laid down in his bed and closed his eyes, knowing sleep often alluded him, but he had a ritual. If only he could use the spells Callum taught him on himself. Things would be so much easier. His mind drifted to her, as it always did.