A Wolf's Miracle

Chapter 49

I told him everything and he listened intently. Not moving or saying a word until I was done. I told him about the dream I had, and I also told him about the assault. I could feel his muscles tense when I described it to him. I could feel his anger and his grief. I could feel his guilt.

We both held each other that night, not moving an inch, not giving the other space because there was no need. We were both vulnerable and we needed this.

 I would've liked that kiss, I had a feeling it would have been amazing. But right now I couldn't think of it, I just know when I was with him every bad feeling would go away. But the memories stayed. Those would haunt me till the end of my days, I knew that.

After I was done telling him everything he spoke, without letting me go "Di, I'm sorry" he said.

I looked at him confused, "Why?"

"Because if I had just gotten there sooner I could have saved you all of this trouble, maybe you wouldn't have even been bitten," He said with his voice filled with regret.

I stared at him like he had two heads "It's not your fault Harlan" I said, my voice still sounding broken and tired "Why do you constantly blame yourself for things that aren't your fault?"

"I just-  I really care about you and I wish this hadn't happened to you," he said taking a deep breath "I'm going to murder whoever did this to you, I swear to whatever god you believe in" Anger pulsed through his body and I could have sworn it felt to me like liquid fire was coursing through his veins.

I never thought someone saying they were going to end another person's life would feel as touching as it did. But then again, things were different in this context. I could only smile and caress his cheek. 

"I'm stressed out" he confessed, which was weird because Harlan never talked about his feelings unless they were anger or flat-out murderous intent. "I don't know what I can do to help you, I don't know the right words to say or what to do."

I smiled, if only because it would make him feel better and he was being sweet, so sweet "Just stay with me, like this" I hugged him tighter and so did he. The sexual tension was ruptured the moment I started crying. There was only tenderness in its place.

"Are you sure there's nothing else I can do?" He said, placing his head atop mine.

"You being here is more than enough," I said, and I meant it "But...I need professional help, I can't heal this on my own, not this time" I had come to the realization I would need to talk to someone about this, someone who could administer TF-CBT or EMDR. Someone who I could talk to about everything. 

"Then you should get it," Harlan said it with determination "I will personally drive you to Miracle or wherever you need to go." I smiled at that as well. 

"But the problem is I don't know if there is a person I could tell that will believe me" Me being a creature of the night wasn't helping.

"I'm sure Gemma knows someone that is familiar with all of this," he paused "You know, a lot of witches become doctors, look at the old man" I smiled at the nickname he gave Callum because of his back pains.

"I would appreciate her help" I hadn't heard of Gemma in a while, but I guess in this culture, no news is good news.

I looked at him for a moment, and somehow knew he had something else to say. "What?"

"Nothing," he said "Maybe another time."

"No, say it, please" Right now, not knowing made me anxious.

"I think you should talk to Arden," he said looking away.

"Why?"

"She's very good at drawing"

"Good for her?" I had no idea where this was going.

"If you are still interested in finding out why you came here in the first place, you could describe that man to Arden and she could draw him" he shrugged, separating himself a little bit so he could see my face "Maybe one of us knows him."

I thought about it for a while "I can't remember his features clearly" I admitted. The memory of my dream, much like the one with the demon, was fading quickly.

"I see," he said, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Why do you want to find him so much?" I asked.

He looked me dead in the eye as he said "I told you before. Because I will end him."

____

When I woke up the next day Harlan was gone, once again. And I was hit with this overwhelming wave of emptiness. Was everything going to be this way when he was gone?

The scent of vanilla flooded my senses before I heard a soft knock "Come in" I said to Selene, who smiled as she entered the room.

"How are you feeling?" she asked with worry in her voice "How did the night go? I'm so sorry I couldn't go see you but Damien and I were super busy with the preparations for the ceremony."

"It's okay, I understand" I tried to fake a smile but failed miserably.

"What is the matter?" she asked, rushing over to my side. Ever since they announced she was pregnant she started wearing her long hair loose and I never noticed how it was slightly wavy.

I thought about keeping things to myself, but I knew that wouldn't do me any good. Besides, if someone understands what happened to me it's her. "I remembered everything from that night," I said and her worry quickly turned to silent understanding.

"I'm sorry" was all she said, perhaps plagued with the memories of her own trauma. 

"It's okay," I said even though it wasn't "I'm going to look for help, someone that can help me get through this."

Selene only nodded.

"You should come too, there is no shame in seeking help," I said.

"I..." she thought about it for a moment "Would actually love to," she said offering a smile "I've always felt that talking makes it better, perhaps this would help too."

I smiled as she added, "I want to be a good mother, I don't want to project my fears onto my child." I admired that, but mostly I admired her.